What's Real
by xXPaintingRealityXx
Summary: My name is Katniss Everdeen. I'm 16 years old. When I was 11, my family got into a car crash. I've been in a coma for five years.
1. Chapter 1

**What's Real**

**~Chapter 1~**

**Katniss**

The rain on a window pane was all she heard. She already knew from the feel of the bed beneath her and the scent of the air that surrounded her that she was no longer in she and Peeta's bed. She was now someplace foreign where the bed sheets were itchy and the air smelled sterile; she was no longer home.

She squinted her eyes open. Why were those lights so bright? Why did her body feel as if it hadn't moved in ages? She tried not to groan at the throbbing of her eyes as they adjusted to the light. Blinking slowly, she observed her surroundings.

The room was so white it was blinding. There were two doors- one opened and leading to a bathroom while the other remained closed. It was probable that the closed door led to some sort of hallway, but she couldn't be too sure. With such unfamiliar surroundings, it's best that she didn't assume. On the wall nearest her sat a small window. Rain drops pattered on the glass. Katniss knew that was the sound that woke her: the pouring rain.

She'd always loved the rain. The feeling of the drops of water on her skin made her feel as if everything bad or stressing was being washed away. She was glad that, although she was in an unknown situation, she woke to such a wonderous sound. After all, the place reminded her of her time in District 13 when she'd woken up to see that Peeta was still in the clutches of the Capitol and that she was confined to the hospital bed. She had no idea what was going on, but she hoped that she could figure it out soon; maybe a doctor would be able to tell her what was going on.

Katniss wasn't able to supress her groan as she sat up, a throbbing in her skull making her body quake. She quickly leaned back on the headboard and sighed in relief. Her body was so weak; but all she'd done yesterday was watch Peeta bake in their kitchen. And they hadn't done... anything last night. Things just weren't adding up.

She didn't know how long she sat there, but eventually, she heard scuffling come from behind the closed door. Soft voices could be heard. And soon, Katniss could recognize those voices. She shouldn't be able to hear two of those voices, though. Those two people... they were supposed to be dead.

The door opened and Katniss immediately recognized the three people who stepped into her room: her parents- both of her parents- and her younger sister. As soon as her family noticed she was sitting up, watching them with wide eyes, they froze. Katniss noted the expressions of joy overtake their faces as they regained their bearings. And then, they made their way to the side of her bed.

Her mother pressed a red button that was on the wall as Prim jumped onto Katniss's hospital bed despite her father's chastising.

"Katniss! Oh, I'm so happy you're awake!" Prim wrapped her arms around Katniss's middle and squeezed softly.

"Katniss, do you remember anything before you woke up?" her mother questioned.

Katniss was about to answer before her father's voice stopped her. "My little girl just woke up! Leave the questions for the doctors."

His booming voice and broad smile left Katniss with a warmth that spread throughout her being. She'd missed him.

It was then that she noticed she'd been staring at the quietly for a bit too long. They looked concerned. But what was she supposed to say?

"You're supposed to be dead." That was her first sentence. A million things to say and that's what she went with? She was surprised at the hoarse sound of her throat, the dry achiness that occured with talking. And they were just as surprised when they heard her first words to them in a long time.

As if something snapped, they began to panic. Her mother ran out of the room to call a doctor. Prim sat on a visitor chair and was crying. Her father was looking at Katniss with so much hurt and surprise that she felt as if she were being broken into a million pieces.

"Where am I?" she whispered, looking deeply into those familiar gray depths. Her eyes teared up. She wanted only one person right now, the only one she felt could make all of this make any sense. "Where's Peeta?"

The astonishment in her father's eyes was palpable. What was so weird about asking for him?

"Katniss... do you remember anything?"

She bit her lip. And looking at her father with such confused eyes, she asked, "what am I supposed to remember?"

_Real or not real_

As soon as the doctor came in, she'd been told to tell them everything she remembered. So she did. She spoke of what happened to her when she was 11: her father's death, the boy with the bread. Peeta. She spoke of the Hunger Games and the Quarter Quell, the rebellion. She even told them about how Peeta loved her from age 5, holding on to his feelings throughout the whole ordeal. How she loved him. How they were supposed to be together. In their house. And how she thought Peeta was going to ask her to marry him soon. Or she him. Whichever one came first.

After she finished, she looked around the room of spectators. Her family, the doctor, a couple of nurses. They all stared at her as if they couldn't believe what she'd just said. Katniss began to feel self conscious. Was there something wrong with her? Maybe she should have made something up, said that all she remembered was voices or being at home in her bed- wherever 'home' was.

The doctor cleared his throat, leaning forward in his chair. "Miss Everdeen, I'm afraid I have some... I have some news to tell you..."

_Real or not real_

She still couldn't believe it. It had been days since she'd woken up, but she still had a hard time grasping what was supposedly 'reality'. She didn't want to believe it. District 12 was her home. Peeta was all she knew. And in this 'reality' she was expected to believe that he barely knew her, had only probably seen her around in her school's hallways, maybe had a group project or two if anything. She didn't want to believe in any reality where Peeta wasn't hers, where Peeta wouldn't put her back together when she fell apart.

They'd given her a new mantra to say when she wasn't sure who she was. Funny thing, it was similar to what she was told to say in District 13. And another funny thing, it was the same doctor: Aurelius. So as she sat on her hospital bed, waiting to be discharged from the hospital, she repeated her lines over and over again, hoping to settle down:

_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I'm 16 years old. When I was 11, my family got into a car crash. I've been in a coma for 5 years._

The basics. Sometimes, she'd add things on. Like that the Hunger Games weren't real, just a fucked up story that her brain had decided to conjure up. And every single time, she left out one crucial thing that Aurelius had wanted her to say within the matra. She didn't like the very last statement. In fact, she hated it with a passion. She wished that everyone around her was wrong, hoped that he'd be there when she turned up at her family's home. Deep down, she knew he wouldn't be. But she hoped. Still and yet, the statement resided within her mind, haunting her:

_Peeta Mellark was never in love with her._

Katniss found it quite ironic, actually. For a long time, Peeta was the one who 'didn't exist' to her. He was the one that watched her and wanted her from a distance. And now that she knows what's really true, she'd been put in his position instead. Now she was the one who was in love with the other. Now she was the one with something that could very likely be unrequited.

If she were in a better mood, she'd laugh.

_Real or not real_

Her sister came bounding in, trying just a bit too hard to be happy. Katniss knew that Prim was just trying to be helpful, trying to get a smile onto her face. But Katniss really didn't feel like smiling. If she were honest, she really just wanted to go to sleep and go back to the world that she'd fabricated in her head. There, she'd be with Peeta. And all she wanted right then was to be with Peeta.

"Katniss, we're going now!" Prim practically squeaked. She was bubbling with excitement and she couldn't wait to get her big sister home.

Katniss chuckled drily. "Alright, Little Duck. Show me the way."

Katniss and Prim met their parents at Dr. Aurelius's office and spoke a few words with said man. Aurelius made Katniss promise to call him once a week so that he could observe her status mentally and physically. He'd made sure that she knew how important it was that she tell him everything that happened, anything that she went through. Even little things, he said, could be important to her recovery.

Their parents led them out of the hostpital and Katniss was overwhelmed. Apparently, all the citizens- well, most- had cars. In the world Katniss had created, extreme poverty was all over the town she lived. But here, people were living quite well. She even recognized faces of many people as she made her way towards her family's car. The doctors had said that she took the faces from her every day life and placed them into her mind. The personalities of them were the same as each person, so Katniss was reassured that Peeta really was what she thought he was. Even if she didn't know him in this life, she's sure she had observed him before her accident and got a good ideal on his character.

_Real or not real_

Katniss stared out her car window in awe. People were lively. The place was clean. Nothing screamed danger to Katniss at all. She was quite surprised. What would cause her to create a world where people were suffering and dying in the most horrible ways each day? What had made her think like that?

She shook her head, watching her school pass by, cleaner and bigger than it had looked in her world. Katniss couldn't believe how morbid her mind could be.

_Real or not real_

Luckily, her parents didn't expect her to know how the house was laid out. Prim showed her around as if she were a guest in their home. Katniss didn't like how she felt so out of it in what was apparently her own home.

She couldn't believe she didn't remember this. She couldn't believe she didn't remember _anything._ All she remembered was District 12. All she knew was Peeta. She didn't know what she was going to do with herself if she didn't figure out her situation and fast.

_Real or not real_

Her first day home was pretty uneventful. She and her family bonded. Sort of. And they'd created a cute little game to play to get Katniss acquainted with everything. They called it 'Real or Not Real'. It was the same game that she played with Peeta when he was hijacked by the Capitol. When she told her family this, they looked at her sadly, smiling awkwardly. They knew how she felt about him. And it killed her to know that they felt bad for her feelings for a boy that had never interacted with her.

Apparently, their city was called Panem. And she did live in District 12. It was just a small area in the city of Panem. The city was split into 13 districts, the last being the smallest and less heard of. Panem was pretty large, thus it did have multiple schooling facilities. But her family told her she had befriended people from other schools. She'd meet them. But now now.

Gale really was her best friend. They went to school together, have been since they were really young. Gale was just two years older than her, the same age gap that she incorperated in her dream. Haymitch was her uncle. Effie married to Haymitch. Madge was her best 'girl friend'. And the people that she'd seen in her head were all real: Finnick, Annie, Sae. Real. She was happy that they were actual people. If ever she started talking about them, she wouldn't be seen as too much of a freak.

And Peeta. He was the baker's son. She'd gotten that right. They had a school project together once and they had many classes together while they were growing up. That's how she knew him. She guessed they'd bonded during their project time. Gotten to know each other. So hopefully, those random facts that she knew about him (his favorite color is orange like the sunset, he liked to sleep with the windows opened, he double knotted his shoe laces) were all true.

Prim said that he was really nice. A very sweet young man with a gorgeous smile, a way with words. That sounded like her Peeta. She wished she could go up to him, talk to him. But she was supposed to be recovering. Even when Prim went to school the next day, Katniss couldn't go because her doctor told her she needed a week of rest before she began her 'normal' life again. She'd rather just start then than have to wait around doing practically nothing but question her life. But she had no say, apparently.

When Prim had school, her parents had work. Her mother was the last out of the house. She made sure that Katniss was comfortable, maybe give her a few things to do. Some garden work. Maybe replacing a light bulb or cleaning. Anything to keep Katniss occupied.

She was thankful for the work. If Katniss hadn't a thing to do, she'd probably drown within her fake memories. She'd have a mental breakdown. She'd try something to harm herself. If she was ready to take her life after the rebellion, she was sure that she would do something horrible to herself in this life. She'd gone crazy trapped within her mind. She was sure she was capable of doing it in real life too.

**~Chapter 1 End~**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Hunger Games.

**What's Real**

**~Chapter 2~**

**Katniss**

A couple days of being home and doing minimal chores had quickly bored Katniss. She felt confined, unable to go anywhere. Technically, she was. She wasn't allowed to go out on her own and everyone was too tired or too busy to go out when they came back home. Katniss was itching to go out and explore Panem. She wasn't sure how exactly it looked, but she knew that, since she lived in this town- had once remembered this town like the back of her hand-, that she could probably get around just fine.

She'd brought it up during dinner one day. It was actually her third day home. She was already tired of exploring the house. She already discovered every single secret passage, looked at all the nooks and crannies. The place felt familiar. Sometimes, she'd actually reach for something like she did it a million times before. Like muscle memory. She was familiar with her surroundings. She needed more of a distraction.

"Well, what would you do?" her mother asked.

"She could walk around town by herself, she's a big girl," her father commented. "She did it when she was younger. She may not remember, but I'm sure she'll be able to tell where she is as soon as she begins exploring."

"I don't know, honey," her mother replied. "I don't feel comfortable with that. People don't even know she was discharged yet, let alone awake."

"I think Katniss should go out on her own," Prim piped in. "She does need to know her way around the town. Plus, I think she'd rather figure it out on her own."

Katniss smiled down at Prim and then quickly shoveled another forkful of broccoli into her mouth. Eventually, her mother was convinced that Katniss should go out and explore the town, to get reaquainted with the area. She'd start her exploring the next day.

_Real or not real_

She didn't get really far the first day. She'd wanted to chart out the small area of housing that she'd lived in first. The more familiar she was with the roads near her house, the better she could get around the place if ever she found herself entering her neighborhood from any other sides. She found Gale's house, saw Hazelle walking out of the door as she passed by the house. She figured she'd found Madge's house when she saw 'Undersee' written on a mailbox in front of a beautiful white building. She recognized many of the nameplates on the houses and their mailboxes. Could connect them to faces conjured in her mind. She figured that that was a good start.

The second day, she ventured further out, towards the town. She figured that's where Peeta lived. After all, they were the bakers and they did actually live above the bakery; she'd confirmed it with her father during a round of real or not real. However, she felt like she'd start hyperventilating when she reached the shoe shop. It felt as if it were all too much for her. She couldn't go any further. She saw the bakery and she panicked. She turned back and retraced her steps back home.

When she got home, she sat in the living room staring straight into the empty fireplace. Her family got home and saw her that way. She told them about her day, her panicking when she'd seen the bakery.

"I want to go back. I want to go in."

Prim looked at her elder sister, concerned. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Now."

"Katniss," her mother started, "are you sure you don't want to wait for tomorrow? Don't you want some time to let it sink it?"

"No. I want to go back tonight."

Her mother sighed. "Honey, when does the bakery close?"

"Not for a few hours," her father replied.

Her parents stared at each other for a little while. They looked as if they were having some sort of silent debate. Finally, it seemed as if her mother relented. Mr. Everdeen looked at his daughters with a bright smile. "Let's go look at the cakes!"

_Real or not real_

Katniss spent a good amount of time looking up at the bakery. She must have looked odd, standing right in front of the building, staring up at the large sign that read 'Mellark Bakery' above the door. Her parents and sister stood off to the side, watching wearily. They didn't know how she would react. She felt ashamed that they would feel so concerned for her over such a trivial thing like a visit to the town bakery.

She made the first step, led her family to the front and opened up the bakery doors. It smelled just as it had in her head. Sugar, spices, dough- the scents mingled in the air and embraced her within its warm arms. She didn't know that she could actually miss a bakery.

The customer at the register looked back, her eyes widening at the sight. Katniss was pretty sure the person manning the register and that lady were gossiping about Katniss. She'd been out a couple times and people had taken double takes as she passed by. She was bound to be the center of gossip in town.

"Everdeen!" A deep voice resounded around the room. Katniss turned her head towards the voice's owner and couldn't keep the smile from her face. "I haven't seen you in ages!"

Mr. Mellark, Peeta's father, gathered her father into a warm, friendly hug. They were like old friends. Well, she was sure they were by the way they were talking. Her dad must have said something, because not too long after that, Mr. Mellark's head spun around and his eyes landed on her.

Katniss raised a hand awkwardly, offering a tiny wave. She didn't know what else to do, so she let a small smile grace her lips, a barely audible "hi" escaping as well.

"Katniss?" Mr. Mellark sounded surprised. He strode up to her and examined her, the disbelief never really leaving his face. "I can't... wow."

"Uh, yeah," she stuttered. "You're telling me."

Mr. Mellark laughed. "You haven't changed a bit! Oh, wait until Peeta sees you! He'll be very surprised. He was actually very worried when we head about your accident..."

But as Mr. Mellark went on, Katniss couldn't hear any more of his words. The mention of Peeta set something off in Katniss. What if he wasn't as she thought he was? What if he didn't care as much as she about him? What if he actually hated her, the Peeta in her mind completely made up?

She felt her breathing pick up and she fell to the floor, crumpling into herself. She was so scared of Peeta not being her Peeta. She was so scared that she didn't know what her life was, who she was before, how this life worked, what she was supposed to do when she went back to what was deemed normalcy. She didn't know what to do. And it frightened her.

She felt arms wrap around her and lift her into the air. She barely heard her father apologizing, promising to fill Mr. Mellark in on what was happening later, barely registered just who she saw as her dad carried her out of the bakery.

Peeta was looking at her. And she felt herself lose all her control.

_Real or not real_

She woke up in her bed. The last thing she remembered was seeing him- she really saw him!- and then nothing. She sat up and looked at her bedside alarm clock. It was 3 am.

Katniss flopped back into her bed. She was so absolutely tired, but she couldn't close her eyes again. How had she gotten back home? Her father probably carried her the whole way. She was probably struggling in his arms as well. Had Mr. Mellark offered to drive them home? Or had she calmed down and fainted instead of going crazy? She'd have to find out later when the rest of her family woke up.

Katniss padded out of her room and down the stairs. It was in the livingroom that she paced. She paced back and forth, wondering just what had happened, what Peeta saw, what Peeta thought. She'd probably scared him. She'd be scared as well if she were in his position.

She probably wouldn't be allowed outside anymore. And she was probably the most talked about person in Panem by now. Everyone would have heard about what went on in the bakery by now. She'd be a laughing stock. Either that, or she'd been labled as crazy. Each one of those things were certainly viable as to what happned. And that left Katniss pacing back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

She wished she had Cinna to talk to. She could really use his advice. Or Haymitch. His snarky comments were welcome to her, especially now since she had no idea what to do. She'd even settle with Octavia if she had to! But this isn't the world that she had in her head. It was the real world, and she didn't know these people the way she thought she did. They had different kinds of connections. But all of them she knew. She could at least try to get the same relationships as she had inside of her head.

When Katniss saw her father hurrying down the stairs, calling to her in a slightly panicked voice, she apologized profusely. She stuttered and teared up, trying to explain herself and make him understand that she didn't know what she'd been doing. Her shame was undeniable and Mr. Everdeen told her multiple times that he understood, that it was alright. He held her while she stumbled over her words and laughed quietly when she ran out of things to say and voiced the fact out loud.

"Baby, you did fine yesterday. You walked into the bakery, even said hi to Mr. Mellark. You made great progress. I'm sure Dr. Aurelius would think so too."

Katniss smiled up at her father and he smiled back. When she was fine with him letting her go, he rushed to get ready for work. Her mother and sister did the same as he did, and they soon bid their good byes to her. Katniss was left to her own devices.

_Real or not real_

In two days, Katniss would be going back to school. She'd start on a Friday. Her parents thought that would be good; give her an in on what high school would be like for her then give her a break for a couple days. But Katniss wasn't sure if it was a good idea. She felt nauseated whenever she thought about going back to school. But she couldn't help the excitement she felt at finally figuring out how her life was like all those years ago. She's 16 now, people may not remember her- or maybe they do-, but she could finally get to know the people she used to. Her parents wouldn't let her during her recovery period. They claimed she needed rest.

However, she soon grew restless as the day went on. Katniss wanted to go to the bakery again. She knew her family would be home soon, so she quickly wrote down a note and left it on the dining table. She slipped on a sweatshirt and shoes, swiping some money she'd collected from when she was little into her pocket before she walked out the door.

She used the spare key they told her about to lock the door and hid it again. As soon as she turned around to walk down the path to the sidewalk, she felt instantly lighter. She practically skipped out of her neighborhood and into the streets of Panem, passing by shops and window shopping.

She noticed the odd looks people gave her. But she pretended not to notice. Her attention was solely on the Mellark family's bakery.

She walked up to the bakery, looking up at it's tall stature. It was pretty big, so the family must live very comfortably upstairs. She could smell the baked goods without the door being opened. And the glass allowed her to see that Mrs. Mellark was manning the register, her husband most likely in the back.

Katniss panicked. In her world, Mrs. Mellark was terribly mean, always scoffing at the Seam residents and yelling at them to stay away and keep out of the bakery. She always viewed them as 'dirty seam brats' after all.

She turned on her feet and walked further down the side walk, entering the grocery store instead. She looked through the aisles, noting how different this place was compared to the Hob. It was clean and filled to the brim with products and foods that could be used by all of the people in town. She knew people didn't necessarily starve to death here, especially when she saw the multiple donation boxes of money and canned food collections for the local food bank down the block.

Once she'd gotten enough strength, she walked out of the grocery store towards the bakery, only to lose the urge and shuffle into the shoe store. She was terrified of getting yelled at by Mrs. Mellark. And she hated the fact that she'd been so affected by the lady. She never really bothered Katniss other than the time when she yelled at her for digging through the bakery trash (something that happened within Katniss's dream). She just didn't want to get Prim on the receiving end of her wrath. But Katniss was never scared of the lady. So why did she seem to be frightened now?

Katniss had been standing in front of the bakery after getting enough courage to leave the shoe store, staring at it for a while, when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Surprised, she whipped around and her breath quickened in mild fright.

"Hey." The boy was Peeta's brother. She believed him to be the middle child. "I'm Rylan. But everyone calls me Ry."

Katniss remained quiet for a second, studying the boy's face. And when she returned his greeting, she did so in a whisper, "hello."

"You're Katniss, right?" he asked. She was a little taken aback, but she nodded anyway. "I heard about you. It's great to see you awake."

"Uh, thanks."

"We visited you."

Katniss's eyes widened. "You did?"

"Yeah," he replied. "When we heard about the accident, we rushed over. We visit once a month."

"But, I thought I didn't know any of you."

"What?"

Katniss looked down awkwardly, scuffing her shoes on the ground as if she were fascinated with the sidewalk. "I lost my memories. Replaced by my version of some reality."

Ry stared at her and she felt increasingly uncomfortable. They stood there for a while, her avoiding his gaze and he peering at her with curiosity. Finally, he opened his mouth to speak:

"Why don't you come inside?"

_Real or not real_

Somehow, Ry got her to explain everything. And he listened quite well for someone she could barely remember- even from her own reality. He made her laugh when she was about to cry. He expressed interest in the most embarrassing parts- the mention of his brother and their love. He gave her courage to speak when she stuttered and fell silent. She liked him.

"Wow," he said when she was finally done with the recounting. His parents were working the bakery and had let him skip duties when they saw him pulling Katniss along. Peeta and Westley would take over his responsibilities for the evening.

"Yeah. Awkward how all of it isn't real," she replied. She was seated quite comfortably on the living room couch above the bakery. The building was three stories. The bedrooms were one more story up.

"No, you're pretty accurate on personalities," Ry told her, smiling. "And all the people that you spoke of- they all live in Panem. You have people right."

Katniss looked him in the eye for the first time that day, her eyes questioning. "Even your mom?"

Ry's expression darkened. It was his turn to look away from her. "She's better at hiding it in this world."

"Oh."

The two of them heard commotion coming from the bakery below, and quickly stood. They looked at each other, confused. Katniss felt agitated, slightly panicked at the sound. She had no idea what was going on and she felt like her mind was beginning to deteriorate just as it had when she first visited the place.

"Ry!" Katniss squeaked, trembling. There was a shout. Was it the Capitol? Were they bombing District 12 again? Was Gale warning everyone. "Ry!"

She fell to the ground, curling up on her side. "We're under attack! They're coming! They're coming!" She was breathless, she was sobbing. Tears were streaming down her face.

"Katniss!" he yelled.

She couldn't see past the tears; they were blinding her vision. Her body was shaking violently and even she couldn't tell what she was trying to say. Her mind was trying to figure out what was happening. Where was she? Was she in Panem the town or Panem the dictatorship? She was so confused, so scared, so lost.

She felt someone touch her, their hand on her arm, and she completely snapped. She thrashed. She screamed. They wouldn't get her. The Capitol would never take her; they already took Peeta's sanity... Peeta!

"Peeta!" she screamed, sobbing and searching frantically. "Peeta, no!"

There was commotion from near by. It must've been the rebel force! She sprung up, her voice cracking as she called for Peeta, for Haymitch, anyone.

She felt arms wrap around her, restricting her movement and keeping her from any escape. She kicked her legs, growled, threatened. But she had no luck in getting away from her captor. She couldn't hear anything but her raw screams, although she was sure that there were people yelling to one another. She couldn't hear, all she could do was feel the intense fear that resided within her. She thought she got rid of all this fear after taking down the Capitol. But had she really taken them down? Was that all a dream? What was real? What was REAL?

She felt a pinch in her arm and then she was out.

_Real or not real_

Apparently she'd been sedated. Ry told the Everdeens that she had seemed very normal when they were talking. She'd only started to react badly after they heard a large thump from downstairs in the bakery. It was actually her father who flew into the store, looking for her in a panic. When he panicked, she panicked. Katniss thought it was pretty funny. Well, now they know that panicking is something they musn't do.

Her screaming had caused quite the commotion as well. The customers had been ushered out at the sound of her yells and her mother was notified to bring those emergency sedation shots that the doctors had provided the family. In case something like this happened. She was lucky that her mother was quick to get to her.

The whole Mellark family dropped what they were doing and ran up the stairs, following her father who'd pushed his way up the stairs in an effort to get to her. They found Katniss curled up on the floor, screaming and crying with a very distressed Ry trying to get her to calm down. Her father pulled Katniss into his arms when she'd sprung to her feet and held her tight, despite her resistance and fear. He spoke soothing words, but none of it work. It wasn't until her mother showed up and gave her the shot that she stopped in a drug induced sleep.

Katniss felt ashamed, very ashamed. She knew Peeta saw her. She knew that he very much did believe that she was crazy. Hell, she thought she was crazy herself! She'd have to apologize to them as soon as she became stable. After her first day of school, probably. She needed her rest. And she didn't want to show up and mess up their business with a mental breakdown again.

**~Chapter 2 End~**

This is my first go at the Hunger Games fandom, so I hope that I'm doing alright. Thank you for all those who followed this story, I really appreciate your enthusiasm to read my story. Sorry about the late update, but please know that I will not be updating this story every week- more like once in a while when I can get to have some time of my own.

Comments and suggestions are welcome and I'd love to hear a few opinions. Please review to let me know how I'm doing. Thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

**What's Real**

**~Chapter 3~**

**Katniss**

She gulped as she looked at herself in the mirror. She looked... normal. She no longer had that lost, confused look in her eyes. She didn't look like a crazed lunatic at all. Her outfit was normal. Her appearance was normal. Her gestures... normal. She even had her hair plaited into a braid. She looked normal. Just like in her false world.

Katniss sighed and stood back from the bathroom counter. Prim was waiting downstairs with her parents. They were waiting on her. It was Friday. A big, big day, as Effie would say. And it was, indeed, a big, big day. It was her first day back to 'normalcy'. She was going back to school.

She opened the bathroom door and quickly padded down the stairs. Her father gave her the school bag she used before the accident: a leather over the shoulder bag covered with various buttons. It was odd. She'd assumed that her bag would be the one she used for her game while she went hunting. Thing is, her father and she would go hunting together. It really was their game bag. When she was well enough, Mr. Everdeen planned on bringing her out on a good hunting trip again. Just like before.

Her mother was practically in tears when she saw Katniss. Her father looked so proud. And Prim, well Prim looked just as excited as ever. Katniss tried to hold onto the excitement she felt before falling asleep the night before. The excitement kept the nightmares away. She thought that if she was excited enough, the nervousness that was clawing at the back of her mind would just about disappear.

She only took a few minutes to sit down and eat. She wasn't the least big hungry, but her parents would feel better about her first day back if they knew she had a little something in her stomach.

"I've packed you a lunch and put it in your bag," Mrs. Everdeen said, circling the dining table to stand behind Katniss. "It's just a sandwich, water and an apple. I didn't think you'd want much to eat."

Katniss smiled gratfully at her mother. And she returned the smile.

"Your father will walk you two to school," she went on, "and he'll be right there to pick you up right after. If you don't feel good or get scared, don't you hesitate to tell the teacher you'd like to go home. They'll call your father or I and we'll get you as soon as we can, okay?"

Nodding, Katniss got out of her seat at the table to dispose of her dishes. She grabbed her bag and turned to her family, all standing behind her. Conjuring up the biggest smile she could, she took a deep breath and asked, "well? 'You coming?"

Mr. Everdeen grinned and made his way over to Katniss. "There's my little girl."

_Real or not real_

The school was overwhelming.

Her father dropped her off at the front office and headed off to work as soon as she was seen to. They'd handed her a schedule, map, school planner, gym clothes and a whole bunch of papers that her parents needed to sign. They told her they missed the first quarter of the school year. It shouldn't be too hard for her to catch up. But Katniss thought otherwise. Her memory wasn't great. She'd have to get extra help if she wanted to make it through this school year.

It was difficult for her to find her way through the school halls. It wasn't that people were unfriendly; it was quite the opposite, actually. Everyone heard about the infamous Katniss Everdeen: risen from eternal rest to walk among the living once more. She was something like a legend in the school. People were falling all over themselves to help her out. But there were a lot of them-

A lot of them should be dead.

Katniss shook the thought out of her head as she finally found her assigned school locker. During her free period- ironically called 'Reflection' by her principal Alma Coin- she was supposed to go to the textbook window and retrieve all the books she needed for her class. Katniss memorized the area so that she would be able to relocate the locker once again. It was near the boys' and girls' locker rooms and across from the gym. She dropped her gym clothes into the locker and tried to locate her first class.

_Real or not real_

It was a normal sized classroom. At least, that's what she thought. It was the same size of the classroom she had within her fake reality. People had already found their ways into the room, taking seats that were so obviously claimed at the beginning of the year.

Katniss gulped. She had no idea how her day would pan out.

She shuffled into the room, head down and mouth pursed. She made a bee line to the teacher's desk and introduced herself. Recognition coated the teacher's facial expression and Katniss finally placed who exactly this teacher was. It was Wiress. Her math teacher was Wiress.

"Katniss Everdeen! I heard the rumors but I couldn't believe it!" She exclaimed, grinning happily. "It's great to see you again."

Katniss had to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat. Tears prickled at the back of her eyes as she forced out a smile for the older lady. "You too."

The bell rang and many more students rushed into class. Katniss took care not to look any of them in the eye. However, she did notice that they were whispering to one another, occasionally pointing to her. They were talking about her and the news of her being here would probably be spread around school before third period.

The palms of her hands became clammy when Wiress stood from her desk and took her place beside Katniss.

"Class, I'm sure you've all heard," she began, "that Katniss Everdeen is back to school. Please make her feel welcome and help her with anything she may ask about."

Katniss quickly scans the room, eyeing each person warily as they stare at her. She notices Peeta sitting directly in front of her. She almost jumped when she noticed him. He was seated so close to her, she hadn't noticed him until she was finished looking at the others.

Her eyes flit to the ground, a blush coating her cheeks. She felt herself grow even more uncomfortable.

Wiress directed her to the seat beside her desk so that Katniss would be able to ask for help whenever needed. Katniss wasn't sure whether she liked this seating arrangement or not. Peeta was just two seats over, and he would be a great distraction to her catching up on her studies. She didn't complain, however; she just tried harder to ignore the boy with the beautiful blue eyes.

_Real or not real_

Gym was right before lunch. And since the locker rooms and gym was right beside her locker, she took all the time she wanted to get to class.

She hadn't seen Peeta since first period. It was already fourth and she was hoping that she'd have minimum classes with him, despite her strong attraction towards him. It was just that she was afraid of getting to talk to him and then spilling everything to him- her 'reality', their 'relationship', her feelings. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she allowed such embarrassment to fall upon her. She already knew that Peeta didn't like her. Ry hadn't said anything otherwise. And her family didn't believe that he harbored any feelings for her either.

She walked into the gym and immediately got lost. She had no idea which gym teacher was hers. There were five of them and the name on the list wasn't the slightest bit familiar. It wasn't that surprising then, though, since she'd experienced the same thing with another teacher.

She stood at the door a little longer, trying to get her courage up to confront the teachers when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She peered to her side and saw one of the people who meant so much to her.

"It's good to see you, Catnip."

He was smiling and his arms were opened, inviting her in for a hug. Her eyes watered as she flung herself into him, wrapping her arms around his torso and squeezing as hard as she could.

"I wasn't sure you remembered me," she gasped. "I didn't know if it was all made up, or-"

He shushed her, chuckling a bit. "It's alright, Catnip. You're awake now. You're okay. I'm glad you're here."

She held onto him a little longer before letting go. She smiled up at him from beneath her eyelashes and clasped her hands together. "So... do you know who my teacher is?"

Gale laughed. "Of course. Follow me."

The lady's name was ridiculous. She preferred calling her Ma'am instead of calling her by her name. Gale left Katniss with her teacher, making his way to his class since roll call had been announced. Her teacher placed her in her assigned place, somewhere near the middle of the mass of teens on the gym floor. Then, she'd gone off to check off who was here and absent.

Katniss took this time to look around at her class mates. Some of them had been in earlier classes of hers. They were... nice. They rarely spoke to her. Said whatever they needed when she asked. But Katniss didn't necessarily feel like they would open up their arms and welcome her as some sort of long lost friend.

She saw Madge at the other end of class looking at her. She watched as Madge raised her hand to wave at Katniss, a small grin placed on her lips. Katniss returned her wave, the matching grin on her face making Madge's grow wider. Katniss felt that she'd get to talk with Madge during her class, maybe even do some of the exercises together. Nervous butterflies flew around in the pit of her stomach. Hopefully, it would all turn out alright.

Katniss returned to looking around the class and her eyes stopped on Peeta for the second time that day. He was just a few rows down, doing some stretches as he waited for the teacher to play the exercise track that Katniss'd heard of.

She couldn't take her eyes away from him. As he reached for his toes, the hem of his shirt rode up and exposed some of his skin. His biceps bulged from beneath his sleeves- obviously from lifting those flour sacks. And the look of concentration on his face; it was so endearing, one of the things that Katniss loved about him. As if he felt her watching him, he turned her way and caught her eyes. Her eyes quickly flicked away from his, embarrassment causing red to rise to her cheeks. She wasn't supposed to be ogling him! She was probably scaring him again.

Cursing herself, she began stretching herself, getting ready for the class period that she knew would be the death of her.

_Real or not real_

The class really would be the death of her. She'd caught herself watching Peeta so many times throughout the period, it was concerning. She didn't think that she'd see him as so... attractive while he worked out.

They really weren't doing much; they were out on the track the whole period. The teacher just made them run around in circles. Katniss saw it as a waste of time. However, she filled that time with catching up with Madge and staring longingly after Peeta, who was just ahead of her the whole time.

"Why don't you talk to him?" Madge asked when she noticed Katniss's glances towards him.

Katniss turned deep red. "I don't think he notices me. Besides, it would be creepy."

Madge, although she looked like she wanted to argue, stayed quiet. Katniss was glad that she let this slide. She was sure her friend wouldn't be so nice later when she was more accustomed to everyday life.

Katniss dropped her clothes into her locker and slammed the door shut with a sigh. She felt her trademark scowl take place on her features. However, when the expression took over her face, it seemed... foreign. It took Katniss by surprise. She thought that she'd always scowl, even in this world. However, the gesture felt so odd to her then. Maybe she really was happier here, it really didn't feel like she glared all that much.

She bit her lip as she turned and almost chewed it off when she saw who was just down the way from her. Peeta Mellark, a dozen lockers down, was watching her with an expression she couldn't understand. As soon as the fact registered that she was returning his gaze, his eyes flit away. They stood motionless, him sneaking peaks at her while she full on stared at him. It wasn't until the bell rang that she made the first move.

Clearing her throat, she shuffled on her feet. "See you later, Peeta."

Her voice was quiet and an octave too high. She tried not to wince as she made her way past him towards the cafeteria. What a way to talk to him. It was her first chance to make an impression.

And she blew it.

_Real or not real_

"It couldn't have been that bad," Madge said. She didn't know what Katniss's deal about Peeta was, exactly- things were much deeper than they seemed and she knew it- but she would always be there for her best childhood friend. Even if that friend didn't remember her that much.

"But it was," Katniss groaned, resting her head on the lunch table.

The cafeteria looked just as it had in her dream and she found Madge exactly where they ate daily. It was weird, since they hadn't eaten together as high schoolers. However, Madge told her that the middle school lunchroom had once been sabotaged and the whole month before she had gotten into the accident, they'd went to the high school to eat their food. This was the exact table they'd eaten at. And it was the table Madge ate at even after Katniss had gone.

"What did you say?"

Katniss looked down at her hands, playing with the cuticles. "That's the thing," she said, "I said nothing."

Madge raised her eyebrow. "Nothing?"

Katniss nodded.

"You had to have said something."

"Yeah, all I said was 'see ya' but that's practically nothing!"

"You're just acting dramatic."

Katniss pouted and turned, for the millionth time, to look at Peeta's table. He wasn't seated very far from her and Madge's. Just a few yards away, blocked by maybe two other tables. But with the way that the room was structured, she had an unobstructed view towards his table, specifically his seat.

"Quit looking!" Madge scolded. "He's going to notice!"

"I know. _I_ did."

"What?"

"Nothing." Katniss shook her head and brought out her home made lunch. She wasn't really all that hungry, but she knew that she should eat something. "Did you hear about my little episode at the Mellark's yesterday?"

Madge nodded. "I'm sure all of Panem heard about it by now."

"Yeah. I bet Peeta thinks I'm a freak."

Madge's expression softened. "Oh, Katniss, of course he doesn't! You've been through a lot, have only been awake for two weeks! Don't be so hard on yourself.

Katniss pursed her lips. "Thanks. Um, can you tell me, how close were we when we were little?"

Madge smiled slightly. "Very. We didn't talk much, but we were pretty good friends when you get down to it."

Returning Madge's smile, Katniss replied, "that's how we were like in my head. We didn't talk much, but I knew I could trust in you. You were a great friend."

Madge smiled. "What happened to me in your dream?"

Upon hearing the question, Katniss's expression darkened. Looking down, she spoke with a chilling tone: "Most everyone I loved died. The only one that stayed with me was Peeta."

_Real or not real_

Katniss's father kept his promise of meeting her outside of her school. The school day had been highly stressful and just as equally embarrassing. She'd almost given Cinna a heart attack when she tackled him with a hug. The poor choir teacher didn't know what hit him.

They walked down the streets of Panem, headed towards the middle school to get Prim and then they would make their way to the bakery. Katniss told her dad about her day as he asked, giving only the details she felt comfortable with. She highly doubted her dad wanted her to know about her longing towards the youngest Mellark boy.

Prim was just as excited to see Katniss picking her up from school as she was when she got her elder sister from the hospital room. Prim commented on how things were beginning to feel normal again and Katniss couldn't keep the smile off her face. Normal. The sound of that really did cheer Katniss up.

When they got to the bakery, the Mellark boys were already setting up to work. Of course, the eldest son Westley was back to college, so the other two- Ry and Peeta- were working the store in the place of their father and mother.

Ry greeted them at the register, since Katniss (somehow) knew that Peeta was always the one to be in the back, baking the bread and decorating the sweets.

"Katniss! It's good to see you walking around again," he grinned.

Katniss blushed and looked down as she approached him. There were no customers yet, so she thought that it would be okay. "Yeah. Sorry about yesterday."

He shook his head. "Don't worry, there's no need to apologize. You were startled. And you just told me what happened to you. Of course you would be on edge. I would have been if I were you."

She met Ry's eyes and smiled. "Thanks. But, I'm sorry for scaring away all your customers. It wasn't my intentions, but... it happened anyways."

Ry laughed. "No, I know what you were doing! Scaring them all away... it was a ploy to get everything that I baked!"

Katniss giggled, pointing out, "you didn't even bake! Peeta was the one who did. That's not very nice, taking credit for your brother's genius."

"It's just baking; you wouldn't have to be a genius."

"You'd understand if you saw me in a kitchen."

Their laughter was loud and contagious; even her father and sister were chuckling along. It was the kind of laughter that she knew would last for a long while. However, her mirth was cut short when she noticed Peeta standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

Katniss cleared her throat and stood straight, hands flying to her braid in an effort to calm her nerves. She played with the hair as she tried to figure out what to say. However, just as all the other times that day, her mind turned out blank when trying to talk with him.

"Hey, Peet," Ry said, making his way around the counter to stand next to Katniss, "don't you think her giggle is cute?"

Her face flushed a deep red as he flung his arm around her shoulders. His shit eating grin made Katniss want to punch his lights out, but she settled with a red-cheeked scowl pointed directly towards him.

With that beautiful smile of his, Peeta looked towards Katniss and allowed his grin to grow bigger. Just a bit. Her heart fluttered as he let out a simple, "yeah, it is."

Ry quickly abandoned her to rub his knuckles into Peeta's hair and coo at him in a teasing gesture. Using his distraction as a means to escape, Katniss quickly made her way to the door.

"I'll see you two later" she called over her shoulder as she practically ran out of the family owned bakery.

Prim and Mr. Everdeen followed her out, quickly saying their own good-byes in order to keep up with the teenage girl. Katniss paid no mind to them, though. The only thing she could think of was that smile directed at her and the thought that he believed Katniss's laugh was cute.

**~Chapter 3 End~**


	4. Chapter 4

**What's Real**

**~Chapter 4~**

**Katniss**

It had been a week and a half since she started school again. And, honestly, she thought that her first couple days back had been disastrous. Dr. Aurelius begged to differ. He claimed that she was doing very well in adapting to this 'new' system of life. He told her to keep doing what she was doing, because it was obviously working.

She had to admit school had become easier. People weren't gossiping about her (as much) and she'd gotten the feel of the school halls and schedule. It wasn't so weird for her anymore and she even made acquaintences with people. Delly Cartwright, Peeta's best female friend as she liked to call herself, had approached Katniss during choir one day and asked her why she wasn't singing; Delly couldn't hear her at all when they were working on the assigned music. Katniss had just shrugged and told her she was just too quiet to be heard. If Katniss knew what Delly would've done, she would have ran away. However, she was unable to and Delly dragged her to the piano and forced her to perform.

That day, Katniss learned she knew how to play the piano. And she also became the songbird of her class.

But along with the friends(acquaintences!), she made enemies. Well, an enemy. Glimmer was just as sadistic and cruel as she was in Katniss's dreams. Clove was with her, but Katniss could tell that she really wasn't as horrid as her friend was. Anywho, Glimmer seemed to abhor Katniss for reasons she couldn't think of. She thought it would be better for her to just try to stay out of her way. It was better not to run into trouble after such a short time of being back.

Lunches were turned into something of a party. Gale sat with her and Madge, and he also brought along his friend Thom. Thom was in a couple of Katniss's classes as well, and Gale promised that if she needed anything, Thom would help. And that was exactly what Thom told her before Gale sat down with them to eat on her second day back. Ry also decided to crash the party, his friend Darius tagging along. Katniss was happy to see that Darius was there; she'd always thought that they were friends in real life since she had a friendly connection with him in her mind. He told her about their adventures together when they were younger. Katniss laughed, glad that she didn't really lose her friend during the Rebellion of the Districts.

She'd only had a breakdown once in the time she'd returned to school. Luckily, she was close to the choir room and she ran into the awaiting arms of Cinna. He was much less surprised than he was the first time she tackled him with affection. But he still asked for her story. The way she told him with such passion and emotion made Cinna reconnect with her in a way that was just like her fake reality's version of Cinna. When she'd asked him if they knew each other before her accident, he said that they'd only met once. And he described her as a strong, passionate young girl- a girl on fire.

Now, she was approaching the close of her first week of school. That one day of starting to ease her into the school system was a good call on her parents' and doctors' part. She'd never say it, though. She was naturally quiet and it was well known throughout town.

This new reality- old if you really think about it- made her... happy. She liked it better here, in this big city called Panem that was split (quite uncreatively) into districts. It was better than the nation with horrible corruption and the deaths of many of the people she loved and those she didn't hanging over her head. The only down side to this place, the only downside that would be there for any place,was that she didn't have Peeta. He didn't talk to her. The roles were switched when she woke up in the hospital that day. Sometimes she wishes she could fall back into that endless sleep and be with Peeta until her dying breath. But she knew she wasn't being resonable. She didn't have Peeta. And that was the only thing that killed her.

_Real or not real_

It was Friday again. She could officially say that she was here for one complete week. She felt proud of herself- and pretty freaking accomplished-, grinning as she sat down in her normal seat within the walls of the cafeteria. The building filled quickly and people began taking their places within their groups of friends. It wasn't long before Katniss's lunch group joined her.

"Hey, Catnip!" Gale greeted her as he and Thom sat down. They were the last to join, since their class was all the way across the campus. Everyone else got there ages ago.

"So Katniss," Ry chimed in before she could return Gale's greeting, "we have a little... surprise for you."

"...What?" Katniss's voice was suspicious.

She knew the middle Mellark brother was mischevous. And she knew that Peeta was pretty playful too; but his personality led him to be much sweeter than his older brother. However, since she didn't know him in this life, she might as well be saying she made up an imaginary friend that solely revolved around Peeta. With her thoughts all jumbled and her knowledge of the people around her still a bit 'if-y,' she couldn't tell what Ry was up to.

"It's just that you told me about people you cared for and you haven't seen in ages. Which is partially true. So, I decided that we should get them some visitor passes and get them to eat lunch with us."

Katniss raised her eyebrow. "And who are these people?"

As if the whole thing was planned, the cafeteria door slammed open and in walked three people that Katniss didn't think she'd ever see again.

"I heard Miss Katniss came back around!" Finnick, with all of his charisma, burst into the room with two young ladies following him. A huge grin displayed bright white teeth and the dimples on his cheeks were just as endearing as Katniss thought they were when she was in her own world.

Her eyes moistened as she stood up and practically knocked over her chair. She ran over to the young man with outstretched arms and crashed into his torso. And she practically cried into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her frame to keep her from ricocheting off of him.

"It's good to have you back, Kat," he whispered into her ear as she sobbed.

Suddenly, she pulled back, surprising the mortal adonis. She raised her shaking hands and ran them all over his face, touching his hair, eyelids, dimples, chin. Over and over, she whispered, "real, this is real," as a huge grin errupted on her face. When she was done, she spun to face the other two people, who she realized were Annie and Johanna, and tackled each of them with bone crushing hugs.

Her small mantra, "real, this is real," continuously slipped from her lips. And the trio uttered it back to her with big smiles of their own. They didn't even comment on the oddity of her actions. They just nodded and smiled and hugged.

It took ten minutes for her to settle down. And that gave the rest of the cafeteria a sufficient amount of time to create whispered rumors about her and her odd little reunion with her friends from another district's school. When Katniss realized that she created a spectacle, her face turned bright red and she dragged the three people to the table where she and her other friends sat.

They all talked and caught up with each other- since they all seemed to have met before- and the table held a generally happy atmosphere. Finnick instantly noticed the longing glances Katniss would throw towards Peeta, and thus, a new conversation topic was born.

"What's up with you and youngest Mellark?" Finnick asked.

"Peeta," Ry said.

"Whatever."

Katniss looked at him awkwardly. "N...nothing."

"Oh, it's not 'nothin', brainless," Johanna piped up. Katniss almost smiled at the nickname. "You keep looking at him like he's the greatest thing since food."

Katniss's eyes fell to her food, pushing around the vegtables the school was required to place within their meals. She opened her mouth multiple times to answer, but nothing came out. She eventually just let it shut and stay that way. She knew she wouldn't find something to say.

"I think Kitty-Kat has a crush!" Finnick sang, a small '_ow!_' errupting from him when Annie smacked him on the shoulder.

When Katniss looked up, she saw that Peeta was staring right at her, as if he knew exactly what they were talking about. Her face turned a deep red and she quickly shot up.

"Excuse me," she uttered, grasping her food tray and making her way to the trash bins.

"Finnick!" Annie scolded as Katniss walked away.

She could barely hear Finn whisper back in his own defense when she felt her ankle get caught and she fell to the ground.

Obnoxious laughter errupted from the table she was beside. She noticed the heeled foot that stuck out from beneath the table- probably the reason why she was tripped- and looked up into the face of Glimmer.

If she thought her face was red, it got worse when she noticed that this was also the table where Peeta sat. Katniss quickly began to pick up her tray and the trash she'd dropped when Glimmer tripped her. This was just too embarrassing. She didn't think that she could ever get Peeta to like her- especially since she's looked like a crazy clutz all this time.

Tears were pooling in her eyes and a loud ruckus was going on near the table when she noticed another pair of hands working together with hers to place her dropped food items on the tray. They were large, strong. They connected to arms with fine blond hairs and muscle from working out and sports. They were very familiar hands and arms. They were Peeta's.

Katniss sucked in a breath as she looked into his eyes. He gave her a small, apologetic smile as the rest of the cafeteria only seemed to get louder with the argument that errupted between Glimmer and Katniss's friends.

"Sorry about her," Peeta said as he picked up her lunch tray. He held out his hand for Katniss to take. "I don't really like her either, but I'd feel bad if I just forced her to eat somewhere else."

Katniss hesitated for a second, but slipped her hand into his awaiting one. She let him pull her up and mourned the loss of warmth when she reluctantly let it go. He began walking towards the trash bin, so she followed.

"You don't have to do that, it's my trash," Katniss said when she regained her ability to speak.

The respondinng smile he flashed her made her heart flutter. "It's fine. I kinda wanted to get away from there, anyways."

It was then that she noticed he had his back pack over his shoulder as well.

Katniss gripped her shoulder strap tightly and nodded, watching the ground as Peeta tossed the trash away.

"What class do you have next?" He asked her, walking towards the doors.

Katniss took this as a sign to follow. "Choir."

"Oh, yeah. I remember Delly told me that you were in that class with her."

She nodded, thanking him quietly as he held the door open for her.

"I remember the first time I heard you sing," Peeta said wistfully.

Katniss's head shot up and she turned to face him so fast that it felt like her head would fly off. "What?"

Peeta stopped in his tracks and placed his hand behind his neck. "Uh, I heard you sing a couple times. The first was in Kindergarten..."

"You remember that?" Katniss asked quietly, hope burning within her.

He blushed a bit, looking down as he let his hand slide through his hair. "Er, yeah. When you sang, I couldn've sworn the birds stopped to listen."

Her heart beat wildly at his response. He noticed her! This was the same thing he told her in her mind! She felt as if her whole world just got brighter and happier.

"Um," Peeta mumbled, turning redder as more time passed, "let's go to our lockers."

"Oh... okay, yeah," Katniss blushed and followed behind.

He walked her to class after that. It was a little awkward. Both of them were very red in the cheeks and Katniss's friends didn't fail to make suggestive faces and actions behind Peeta's back. But he still walked her to class. She felt like she was on top of the world. She felt like things could get better. She felt like she could be with him again.

That day, she sang. She really sang. She didn't hide in the tones of the other kids' song; no, she added herself into the blending of voices and her sweet voice made the class sound that much more beautiful. She felt her heart swell in happiness as her voice rubbed with the others and made the sweetest tone she'd heard in a while. She felt very happy, very alive.

_Real or not real_

She and Prim walked home alone now. Her father and mother decided that she was acquainted enough with the streets to find her way alone... mostly alone. Prim asked her about her day, and Katniss replied with a small smile and soft eyes of the happiness she'd been given- despite her tripping because of Glimmer.

Prim skipped ahead of her when the young girl saw a group of friends from her school. Katniss smiled as she watched them interact. In this world, it was obvious that Prim fit in. She didn't have to struggle with clothing or looks like she did in Katniss's mind. She couldn't help but see all the good in her world today.

"Hey there, Nissy!" Ry's voiced errupted loudly from just behind her.

Katniss scrunched her nose up in disgust as Ry wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She could hear footsteps coming up to her on her other side as she turned towards Ry. "I suggest that you don't call me that."

"Why?" Ry pushed, grinning. "I think it's a good name... _Nissy_."

Katniss rolled her eyes and elbowed the older boy in the gut. He quickly let go and began wheezing as she laughed at him. "I told you not to call me that."

She heard laughter behind her and stopped her own giggles as she turned- wide eyed- towards Peeta. A soft pink coated her cheeks and she let a small smile adorn her lips. "Sorry for that. He was asking for it."

He laughed louder. "Don't sweat it. If you didn't do it, I would've done it myself!"

Her grin widened as she turned back to Ry, who was just standing up straight after her hit. "I think that was uncalled for."

Katniss stuck her tongue out at him.

_Real or not real_

When Prim saw the Mellark brothers, she practically begged Katniss to stop by their bakery. She even threw in the puppy-dog eyes. Katniss, who wasn't even that opposed to the visit (and secretly hoped to be invited), feigned reluctance and said yes to her sister.

Prim, as excited as she always is, grabbed a hold of Ry's hand and dragged him along, 'so they'd get there faster'. Katniss was left alone with Peeta.

"How was your day?" Peeta asked after a minute of silence.

"Good," Katniss answered, smiling down at her feet. She looked up at him from beneath her eyelashes and asked, "you?"

He smiled down at her before looking forward once again. "It was good."

Silence again.

"I, uh, finished a painting in art," Peeta spoke up again, sneaking a glance towards her.

Katniss smiled. "I bet it's beautiful. You're a really talented artist."

Peeta blushed, "you've seen my paintings before?"

She stopped walking and looked up into the sky. Had she seen his paintings before? Or were the ones she saw in her head made up? "I... I think so?"

She wasn't sure if she zoned out or what, but when she looked forward again, her hand was in Peeta's and they were already in front of Mellark's Bakery. She stared at the back of his head as he led her through the front door behind her sister and his brother. How long had she been in her own head?

He turned his head towards her and noticed that she was watching him.

"Oh, sorry," he said, letting go of her hand. But when she held on tighter, he wrapped his fingers around her palm and pulled her along. "You just zoned out and you wouldn't answer me, so... I just... led you here."

"Oh," Katniss breathed. "Um, my bad. I didn't mean to... you know, vacate... I'm not all here, yet."

He gave her a small smile. "That's perfectly fine."

He had to let go of her hand when he stepped behind the counter. She watched him wrap an apron around himself after placing his bag down. He stepped up to the display rack filled with beautifully decorated cookies and looked into her eyes. "Want a cookie?"

"I don't have any money on me..."

"On the house," he said, picking a flowery one from the case. He handed it to her and gave her a sweet smile. "We're friends, right?"

Friends. Oh, she never knew she could hate that word. "Yeah. Friends."

"So, have the cookie. A friendly gift."

Katniss gingerly took the cookie from his grasp and sighed. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

She tried her best not to look depressed as she sat at one of the tables and nibbled on the cookie slowly. She hoped Prim wouldn't want to stay for long. She really wanted to go home.

**~Chapter 4 End~**


	5. Chapter 5

**What's Real**

**~Chapter 4~**

She wished she were better with keeping her thoughts from flowing out of her control. Since she first started talking to Peeta, her dreams at night were hopeful and reminiscent of her world. She'd find herself waking from blissful scenes from the world in her head, clinging to the warmth of his arms around her as she slowly made her way back to consciousness. And every time they had a new conversation, her feelings for him would conjure so much longing that she would feel an ache spread throughout her body at the slightest thought of him. She was so hopelessly in love with this boy and she found she could do nothing about it.

She'd tried to give up on her feelings, but it didn't seem to work. For a whole day, she'd tried her best to ignore Peeta and found herself feeling so depressed, a school counselor approached her and wanted to talk to her "about her feelings." Of course, she'd refused, saying that she already had a psychiatrist and would talk to him later. And she found herself going right back to where she was the first day she'd gone back to school, watching Peeta to feel even the slightest bit of happiness she knew she clung to while watching him.

God, she sounded like a stalker.

Slowly, however, they started having more conversations, becoming the slightest bit closer each day. And along with Peeta, she'd grown closer to Delly. The two girls shared their Choir class together, bonding over their love of the art and the surprising similarities Katniss found between themselves. Katniss had to admit that she never thought that Delly would be the kind of friend that she wouldn't mind having. The blonde was normally loud about her opinions and interwoven with many social circles. However, the way that Delly acted around Katniss- as if to make the girl comfortable and understand her as much as possible- made Katniss realize she wasn't as different from her as she once thought, though Delly was a little touchy, especially when it came to Katniss. The girl hung off of Katniss like they were the closest of friends since their conceptions, and Katniss didn't know how to feel about that. There were times where Delly would hold Katniss' hand and kiss her on the cheek, but she'd always brush it off as the girl being friendly. Delly tended to do those things when she thought no one was looking, Katniss noticed, but it wasn't a big deal. Delly was just a friendly girl who liked to show her affections for others.

Katniss' hope to become something more to Peeta began to grow, warming her heart at the progress she made with him. Having Delly on her side to give her information about him was a plus as well. But whenever Katniss asked the girl things about Peeta, she'd get a weird look on her face, which worried Katniss slightly. Katniss decided she'd keep the Peeta questions to the minimum, only asking if something seemed really important.

Like one time when Katniss noticed how much Glimmer was hanging off of Peeta.

Katniss was frustrated over the jealousy she felt whenever the popular girl would touch and flirt with him. She didn't understand why Peeta would always just smile at her. Of course the smiles were always polite and their conversations didn't last long. But the actions Glimmer made towards Peeta worried her. She'd spent a whole lunch period with her eyes glued to Peeta's table, watching the interactions between the pair to judge just how close they were. But when Glimmer leaned her head on Peeta's shoulder and all he did was laugh, Katniss couldn't take it anymore. In her jealous rage, she gathered her things and stomped out of the cafeteria, heading towards Cinna's room to calm down before class started.

A few minutes later, she was surprised to see that Delly had followed her, a worried expression on her face as she walked towards her.

Katniss bit her look, her eyes darting to the ground. "What are you doing here?"

Delly sat beside Katniss on the bottom riser, where the class stood to sing. "I saw you leave the cafeteria."

Of course she did. Delly was at the same table as Peeta, sat on the other side of him, so she'd probably noticed how upset Katniss looked. She really needed to pay attention to who's watching her. She could really get herself into trouble with gossip or something worse if she didn't.

"What's wrong?" Delly asked, placing her head on Katniss' shoulder and looking up at her.

Katniss sighed. "I'm just…" How was she supposed to explain this to her? The truth was pretty embarrassing, and even if she knew Delly wouldn't tell anyone, saying it out loud would only make it more true. So how was she supposed to word this?

"Are Peeta and Glimmer together?" Trust herself to get straight to the point.

Delly blinked, a flash of hurt passing through her eyes quickly before it disappeared. Honestly, Katniss thought she'd imagined it; why would that question hurt her? However, as Delly began speaking, she threw the thought into the back of her head.

"No, they're not. But Glimmer definitely has a thing for Peeta."

Oh. "And… does Peeta…?"

Delly shifted, spreading her legs out in front of her as she sighed. "No, he doesn't like her. He's just too nice. I've told him before that if he doesn't like the girl, he should let her down, tell her to stop. But he doesn't want to 'hurt her feelings' or 'make her feel bad' or anything like that. Jeez, he's just gonna get himself in trouble."

Katniss sighed in relief, the tension she didn't even know she held in her shoulders releasing slowly. Suddenly, the thought of him being with someone, having a girlfriend, was very important to Katniss. And not being the one for subtlety, she asked, "so he's not… _with_… anyone, then?"

Delly closed her eyes and shook her head. "Nope."

Katniss' lips quirked into a small smile. "Okay."

Quickly, Delly turned to her, legs curling into her chest and arms wrapping tightly around them. "So why the interest? You got a crush on him?"

Katniss' face turned deep red, and she stuttered out a quick "it's complicated."

"How?" Delly scrunched her eyebrows. "It's either you like him or you don't."

Oh, if only she knew.

The school bell rang and Katniss made a quick decision. "I'll tell you after school. Walk to the middle school with me?"

Despite the confusion on her face, Delly nodded. Katniss hoped that she'd made the right choice.

_Real or not real_

As Katniss sat down at lunch around three months since she'd gotten back to real life, Madge finally took it upon herself to ask the questions that Katniss feared would eventually come up in conversation.

"You really like him, don't you?"

Madge's question- which was practically a statement with the way her tone sounded- caused Katniss to choke on her mouthful of food, and she clumsily reached out for her water bottle to wash it down her throat. "What?"

"Peeta," Madge stated, as if that explained her train of thought. At the raise of Katniss' brow, Madge elaborated. "You like Peeta. It's obvious. Has been since you've come back. Why are you acting so differently about him?"

Katniss looked down at her sandwich and scowled. Differently? Katniss didn't have a clue what Madge was talking about. She was acting the way she always did- at least, to her honestrecollection. She had no idea how her behavior was towards Peeta before she'd gotten into that accident, so she couldn't really compare. So, instead of sitting there in dazed confusion, she decided she would ask Madge to fill the holes that were in her head.

"How did I act then? Before?"

Madge bit her lip, her eyes rolling up to look at the ceiling as if she were thinking hard. "Well, you were certainly less interested. Or better at hiding it."

"I was?"

Madge nodded. "And, honestly, I think he did more of the staring than you before… then."

Katniss sat there, perplexed. So she didn't make up how Peeta would stare at her. This fact made her heart soar and she couldn't stop her eyes from flitting towards him to see him- for the first time- watching her with rapt interest.

She quickly looked away, her cheeks heating slightly as she fought to calm her erratic heart. She turned her bowed head towards Madge and questions, "does he still look at me? As much as he did before?"

Katniss looked up and was rewarded with her friend's nod."I guess," Madge began slowly, "he just got better at watching you without you noticing."

"Oh."

The girls sat in silence as the rest of the table filled up with the rest of their friends. The arrival of Gale brought along Thom and Darius, their rambunctiousness quickly making the conversation grow louder and, thankfully, away from the topic of Katniss' feelings for the youngest Mellark. She made it a point to keep from looking towards Peeta's table and invested herself in the gossip that the boys were throwing around- who was sleeping with whom, what the latest movies were, the juicy love triangle between the most popular jocks in school- that she didn't notice what Ry was doing before he made himself known by clearing his throat right behind Katniss' seat.

As she turned, she noticed his brother standing with him, looking at Katniss a bit sheepishly before mouthing a silent 'hello' to her as the rest of the table turned their attention to them.

"Shall we make room for another handsome Mellark?" Ry asked with a flourish wave of his hands. Darius and Thom whooped as the two sat down, Peeta on one side of Katniss and Ry on the other.

Katniss tried not to look stiff as she continued to eat her food, giving all of her attention to her sandwich and water. From the looks that Madge was sneaking her, she knew she wasn't succeeding. Peeta, however, seemed to fit in with the table group immediately, hopping into the conversation and giving his input and opinions to whatever topic was brought up. Katniss couldn't help but admire his silver tongue, glad she'd gotten that part right about him, too.

Just as she was becoming comfortable with his presence beside her- right where he was supposed to be, in her mind-, she let out a small squeal of surprise when someone wrapped their arms around her from behind and rested their chin on her shoulder. "Mind if I sit here as well?"

As Katniss turned her head, she recognized the form of Delly Cartwright pressed against her back. "Uh, sure."

Squealing in excitement, Delly practically pushed Ry away from Katniss to take a seat between them. As Delly got comfortable, Katniss found herself pushed into Peeta's side, his arm wrapping around her as she falls back into his chest.

Katniss sputtered apologies as she tried to regain her balance on the seat, Peeta smiling down at her as he gave her more room to scoot over for Delly. When they were all seated comfortably, Katniss' arm burned from the constant contact it has with Peeta's while she tried to avoid getting hit as Delly greeted everyone at the table and hops into the conversation with wild hand gestures.

After telling Delly about the world in her head, the blonde girl acted a bit differently. For the first week, she acted pretty much the same, if not a little more reserved. While listening to the story, she never interrupted once, taking in all the information like a sponge. The pained smile she gave Katniss after the story was finished confused Katniss to no end. But the girl acted bright and cheerful, claiming she had to go home before her family worried and hugged her tightly before she left, so Katniss didn't think it was anything too big.

As time went on, Delly's demeanor changed and she began being more open with her affectionate actions towards Katniss. Hand holding and hugs were plentiful and Delly figured that kissing her on the cheek in front of others wasn't a problem. Of course there were whispers when it first started, but Katniss paid no mind to them. She saw other girls do the same with their friends, sometimes, so she figured that it was just a way for Delly to tell her how much their friendship meant. But Katniss was still slightly uncomfortable with it.

It wasn't long until Katniss finished with her lunch. She got ready to leave the table when Delly turns to her with a large grin. "Katniss, you're looking great today."

Katniss, unsure as to how to react, responded with "uh, you too."

Delly's amused giggles caused Katniss to scowl, her hands tightening over her bag strap. Was there something on her face? Did she hear something weird that Katniss hadn't heard about yet? As if sensing that Katniss would run from the table soon, Delly placed her hand on Katniss' thigh. "Would you like to walk to Choir together?"

Katniss looked down at the hand on her thigh, and back to the girl with the shining blue eyes. Katniss didn't know if she should feel uncomfortable or not, and she bit her lip in confusion. She turned to look at Peeta, who looked at Delly's hand atop of Katniss' thigh and scowled as his cheeks turned pink.

Turning back to Delly with elevating confusion, she stuttered "O-okay. Sure."

Delly grinned, grabbing her own bag and hoisting it onto her shoulder. "Ready now?"

"Uh, yeah."

Quickly, Katniss stood and gathered her things to leave with Delly. The pair said their goodbyes to the rest of the table as the bell rang, telling the students to head towards their classes. Just as she followed Delly from the lunchroom, she looked back to see the Mellark brothers share a look before Peeta quickly started to gather his things. Just as Katniss and Delly were turning the corner, Peeta called out for them to wait for him.

"I was wondering if I could come along," Peeta panted slightly, looking at Katniss hopefully.

"You aren't in our class, silly!" Delly responded for her, grabbing her hand and pulling her closer to her side.

"I'm in the same hall."

"That's fine," Katniss butted in. "Peeta, walk with us?"

His answering smile made her heart flutter.

"So Katniss," Delly began, dragging her towards their class as Peeta struggled to keep up, "how'd you become such a good singer?"

Katniss tugged back on Delly's arm so that she would slow down. "I don't know… I hadn't really thought of it."

"So you were born with it?" Delly asked. "You're so lucky!"

"My Dad's better."

Delly was about to drag her into the Choir room when Peeta caught her other hand. The sudden stare off between the blonds made Katniss feel uncomfortable, so she decided to break the silence.

"I'll meet you inside, Delly," she stated, sending the girl a smile.

Said girl reluctantly nodded and walked in ahead of her while Katniss walked across the hall to the art room.

"Is there something wrong between you two?" Katniss asked. At Peeta's surprised expression, Katniss explained, "it's just that you guys have been acting… weird?"

Peeta stuttered and shook his head, trying to find the right words to explain to her. Finally, he was able to get out a coherent sentence. "No, we're fine. We're just… working through something."

Katniss leaned against the wall beside the art room door. "So you're fighting?"

"No! I mean, yes. Well, not really. We're just-" the warning bell cut him off. "It's complicated."

She bit her lip and nodded, standing and moving slowly towards her class. "I'll… see you later, then."

At Peeta's frustrated sigh, she frowned. "Yeah," he replied, "see you."

_Real or not real_

Throughout class, she and Delly talked. Katniss wondered why she never thought to become Delly's friend. She's very nice and has a good sense of humor despite her initial impression. And she really seemed to enjoy listening to what Katniss had to say rather than the gossip that's been slipping around school about her.

"You know," Delly began as they were getting ready to leave their class, "they're just jealous of you."

Katniss scowled, looking down at her feet as the two walked towards the door. "Why would they be?"

They stopped just inside the doorway to wait for the bell to ring.

Delly turned to her with a serious face, her cheeks glowing a light pink. "Look at you. You're gorgeous. You've got the whole school's attention with your looks and your mystery."

By the end of Delly's explanation, her face was red and the bell had rung. The two girls stepped out into the hallway as it filled with students trying to make it to their next class on time.

"I don't understand why they'd see that," Katniss stated, shrugging her shoulders as she looked down to the tiled floors beneath their feet.

"I don't understand why they wouldn't," was Delly's reply.

Katniss bit her lip and looked up at the other girl. "I think we should get to class."

Delly nodded and smiled. She stepped closer to Katniss and planted a quick kiss on her cheek before whispering "see you tomorrow" in her ear.

Katniss fought the urge to cover her cheek with her hand and smiled. And when she turned in the direction of her next class, she found herself locked in the surprised gaze of Peeta Mellark.

_Real or not real_

The last school period went by in a flash. Katniss could barely understand why she was so confused. It was just a peck on the cheek. She's seen girls give their friends kisses before. But the look in Peeta's eyes when he saw it said something to her, said that it meant a little more than what Katniss thought. He'd seemed frustrated, disappointed. Mostly, she'd seen a hopelessness she hadn't seen in a long time, not since they were in the rebellion and making their way through the evacuated streets of the Capital. So by the time school had ended and she'd met Prim after school, she had a lot of questions for Peeta that were bouncing around in her head.

"Hey Katniss!"

Startling out of her thoughts as she and her sister walked through town, Katniss turned quickly to see Ry running towards the two, Peeta trailing slightly behind him. The girls waited for them to catch up before they began walking again.

"So," Ry began, slinging an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close, "Delly came on really strong, huh?"

She pushed Ry's arm off of her and cocked her head. "What?"

Ry looked to Peeta, who was shaking his head at his brother, and turned back to her. He shrugged. "Nevermind."

Katniss stopped. "No, tell me." She turned her gaze towards Peeta. "What's wrong? Why'd you act like that when Delly… kissed me?"

Ry sputtered, "she kissed you?"

Katniss looked to the older boy and glared. "It was friendly! On the cheek!"

Ry laughed and placed his hand on Katniss' shoulder. "Oh Katniss, as obtuse as always. You have so much to learn."

Katniss shook off his hand. "What do you mean? What am I not getting?"

"Katniss," Peeta began, and she turned to him. "Ry's just an idiot. Can we forget about it?"

The way Peeta looked as he begged made her soften. He looked so uncomfortable with the situation, a little dejected to say the least. She felt bad that she'd caused him to feel so out of sorts. So, she nodded her assent, biting her lip to keep the frustration from taking over her features.

Instead of continuing the conversation, Ry sparked one up with Prim, the pair walking farther ahead of them and leaving them in silence. Katniss looked towards Peeta once in a while, worrying over what she should say to him. She had so many questions, but the way he'd shut things down made her weary about reopening the conversation now that Ry was gone. However, she didn't need to be the one to start a conversation, because just as she was about to start an awkward conversation about the weather, Peeta took pity on her.

"I'm sorry about Ry. He's really just an idiot."

Katniss opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came to mind in reply. So, she just nodded her head.

"I mean," Peeta began again, seeming a bit agitated, "he has no idea what's going on. Just wants to make drama to entertain himself. It's really frustrating."

Katniss watched as he ran a hand through his curls and down the back of his neck. Recognizing this action from her dream world- and remembering how endearing she thought it was- she lifted her hand to place it on his forearm. Slowly, she brought his hand back to his side and slid her hand into his. Smiling, she replied, "it's okay."

He stared at her, stunned for a couple beats, before he answered her with a smile so bright, she couldn't stop her answering grin. His hand squeezed hers and they walked on in silence towards her home.

He walked her all the way to the front door and they stood outside her doorstep. It was silent for a few seconds, the only communication between them being the lock of their eyes.

Quietly, Katniss whispered, "I don't know if the you I dreamt up is real or not."

Peeta blinked in confusion. "What?"

She blushed and looked down, taking her hand back from his and running it along her braid. "I just… did Ry tell you… about what I dreamt while in the coma?"

Peeta just shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets.

Honestly, Katniss was surprised that Ry could keep quiet. She fully expected him to spill the beans to Peeta. Not necessarily to make fun of her, but just because Peeta was a main character in her dreams. Hell, she'd said that they'd done… things in her dreams! Why wouldn't Ry tell him?

Katniss realized that while Ry was ostentatious and mischievous, he still knew when to stay in his boundaries. She guessed that Ry thought it best if she explained things to Peeta herself. While she appreciated this fact, she couldn't help but wish she wouldn't have to be the one to tell him. But she knew things would be so much better if she were the one to have this conversation with him. And she somehow knew that Peeta wouldn't push her away or think any less of her when she revealed what had gone on in her mind while she was unconscious for 5 years. So, when she looked back up into the boy's eyes, she decided that she would tell him.

"Peeta, I have something important to tell you."

**~Chapter 5 End~**

I realize I haven't written in a while. With all that has happened- break ups, graduating high school, starting college and discovering myself- I'd forgotten about this story. It's the only one that I have up, so that is something that I can be grateful for. I forgot how I wanted this story to go, but I have a new vision now that I have the time to pick it up again. I hope those that were reading this before don't feel too bad about my lack of work on this; I know I feel bad. But, I hope to update more (though I may not update on a regular schedule) every couple of weeks, maybe once or twice a month. All I know is I don't want to leave this story without an ending. So, I apologize and I hope you enjoy.

If any of you lovely readers have ideas or comments, please send me a review or PM. And I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes; this is unbeta'd and mostly unedited.

~PaintingReality


	6. Chapter 6

**What's Real**

**~Chapter 6~**

They decided to talk on Sunday, since Peeta finished work early. They'd meet at the meadow on the edge of town at noon and spend the rest of the day together. After they made their plans, Peeta rushed off towards the bakery, stating that his mother would be angry with him for being late. She felt guilty for getting him into trouble, hoping that he wouldn't be punished for taking the time to walk her home. But when she went inside and was met with the over-enthusiastic actions of her family, her thoughts centered on them, knowing they had listened in on she and Peeta's conversation on the front porch.

She ignored the glances her parents sent her and started up the stairs, Prim deciding she'd rather stay downstairs. Katniss ignored the whispers of the rest of her family as she shut her door softly behind her. She dropped her bag and flopped down on her bed, allowing the nervous butterflies to take over her body.

She didn't know what would happen when she told Peeta about the life she'd made up in her head. She didn't know if he'd still want to be within reach of her, let alone stay her friend. After all, she might as well have been announcing her undying love for him! She was scared that he would reject her feelings, reject her friendship, reject her for everything she was. She just wasn't ready to let her Boy with the Break go, and she knew she never would be. But keeping this all to herself- not letting him know how much he means to her, not trying to make him hers once more- was something that she didn't know if she could live with. One day, he may just decide to get married to another girl, have kids with another girl, and she would have to pretend that she was okay with watching the love of her life live happily in someone else's arms.

No, Katniss couldn't let that happen. She didn't have the goodness in herself to watch that for the rest of her life. She knew her Peeta- the one in her made-up world- would do just that if it made her happy. Her Peeta had so much dedication and love for her, he would do anything to make sure she lived the life she wanted, even if it was without him. Katniss, however, knew she was selfish. Of course she wanted him to be happy! Of course she wanted him to live his life the way he wanted to and do what was best for him. She just wouldn't be able to watch it. She wouldn't be able to live with it, be near him while knowing her feelings would never be reciprocated.

She guessed this is where the two differed. Peeta held so much goodness in her heart, and Katniss… well, she just didn't. He would offer to be her friend for the rest of his life while she was with another in ways that he couldn't be. As much as Katniss wanted to say she would do the same, she didn't know if she could. But this wasn't her Peeta, the Peeta that she'd known in the world she'd created. This Peeta was the real Peeta- the one that her mind warped into someone who loved her and got her to love him. She didn't know why she'd chosen him. There were many guys that she could have used as her muse, but it seemed that he'd made quite the impression on her so many years ago. It's a wonder that she doesn't remember just what caused her to notice him so much. Hopefully when she talked to him on Sunday, she'd get her answers.

_Real or not real_

As the week dragged on, Katniss and Delly's friendship seemed to grow deeper. Delly always found a reason to hang onto Katniss, whether it be to hold her hand or give her a hug. The friendly girl couldn't keep her hands off of Katniss and, if she were being honest, Katniss was growing a bit uncomfortable with all of the girl's attention.

However, Katniss couldn't find it in her to push Delly away or scold her. Instead, she just went along with what Delly wanted, allowing Delly to hold her hand or giving the girl hugs before Delly swept her into her arms. Katniss didn't think it was all that bad, though. She'd never really had the friendship where physical gestures such as hugging and hand holding was a thing, but it wasn't terrible. She tried not to think about how the girl's touchiness was a level over what she was seeing in the hallways between other girls' friend groups, convincing herself that Delly was just a lot more friendly than all the others. After all, in Katniss' dream, Delly was much nicer than all the other girls in the school. So that had to account for something, right? Then again, Delly annoyed her in her dream as well, seeing as Katniss didn't enjoy the kind of attention Delly brought for her.

Maybe Peeta could elaborate on the relationship she had with Delly before her accident as well.

Despite the confusion on how Katniss knew Delly before, she'd found herself learning more about the blonde haired girl than she ever thought she would. Delly was the daughter of the shoemaker and she and Peeta were best friends since they were in diapers. She found that Delly was fond of math and enjoyed watching 'movies,' whatever that was. When Delly found out Katniss didn't understand what a movie was, she'd taken it upon herself to plan a 'movie night' with her that Saturday, promising her that it would be fun and they could even invite Madge if she wanted. Katniss agreed, and they invited Madge, the event quickly turning into a slumber party at Katniss'- seeing as the girls didn't want to overwhelm Katniss too much- and a way for Katniss to reacquaint herself with her friends.

Having Delly sit at Katniss' table during lunch seemed to make their friendship turn in a new direction, and to her surprise, she didn't really mind. And the fact that Peeta seemed to pay more attention to her now that Delly was always around didn't make it any worse. Though Katniss admitted he'd paid more attention to her without Delly's presence, but Katniss would take any attention from Peeta that she could get. After all, Peeta's constant need to find reasons to touch her and to talk to her made Katniss feel so much better about the situation.

However, she couldn't help but notice the tension between the two friends, something she thought she'd never see in her lifetime. Whenever one greeted her, the other wasn't too far behind. And whenever one touched her, the other touched her as well. It was as if there were some rivalry going on between the two and Katniss didn't know what to do. She didn't understand the conflict going on between the two, but she knew that she played a very large part in it.

_Real or not real_

"Are you ready for tomorrow?"

Katniss looked up at Delly, startled at her sudden question.

She was sat between Delly and Peeta, the two of them trying to sit as close to her as possible without making her uncomfortable. Before then, Delly was immersed in a conversation with Madge that Katniss didn't feel a need to be a part of. And Peeta was just as silent as she, once in a while watching her out of the corners of his eyes like she was to him.

"What?"

Delly rolled her eyes and shared a look with Madge. "Tomorrow? The sleepover? Don't tell me you didn't ask your parents."

The realization dawned on her. Tomorrow was Saturday, the day the girls planned to have a sleepover. Katniss asked her parents the day Delly brought the party up and they readily agreed, saying it would be good for her and her recovery.

Katniss scowled. "I asked. And I already told you they said yes."

Suddenly, Peeta's voice made its way into the conversation. "What are you girls talking about?"

Katniss turned to look at him while Delly replied for them, "we planned a sleepover at Katniss' house. We're going to show her what a movie is."

At first, Peeta looked upset, but his curiosity quickly took over. As he turned to Katniss, he asked, "you don't know what a movie is?"

Katniss' face burnt red. "No."

Peeta looked perplexed. "But I swear I saw you at the local movie theater before-"

"Well it doesn't matter now!" Delly interrupted. "She's lost all of her memories from before, so you can't expect her to remember something so _trivial_."

Katniss felt guilty at the hurt expression on Peeta's face. It was obvious that Delly knew at least more about Katniss' time in the coma than Peeta, and he obviously sensed that after Delly's outburst. The look in his eyes as he looked at Katniss made her feel ashamed. She promised Peeta that she'd explain everything to him and it felt like a sort of betrayal that she'd been telling everyone around him about what went on in her head before she let him know a hint.

Not knowing how to fix the situation, she placed her hand on Peeta's and squeezed. "I promise I'll let you know. Sunday."

Peeta's eyes flickered back down to his food and nodded.

And out of the corner of her eyes, she could see the trepidation in Delly's eyes as Katniss went back to finishing up her lunch.

_Real or not real_

"The closest thing to a movie that we had was the recap of the Hunger Games," Katniss stated, flopping down onto the pillow and blanket covered floor.

By this time of night, Katniss had gone through her reality of the past few years with Madge while Delly listened to the story again. Katniss felt a little bad that it took this long for her to let her closest girlfriend know about the life she'd made up in her head, but finally getting Madge in the loop made a bit of the weight in her chest ease up.

"Are you going to tell everyone else?" It was the first thing that Madge said after hearing the story. All three girls had been silent whilst watching the movie that Delly brought over from her home.

Katniss looked at the two girls before replying. "I want to tell Peeta first. Before the rest of them."

Delly scrunched up her eyebrows. "Why? You've already let us know. It doesn't really matter, does it?"

Katniss' cheeks burned as she played with her blanket. "This whole daydream was about him! Of course it matters, Delly. I just... "

Delly cut her off. "Just because it's about him doesn't mean that all those feelings you made up were real too! Nothing you dreamed up was real at all, so why should the emotions be?"

The room was quiet between the three girls, all of them fidgeting slightly. Madge cleared her throat and stood up a moment later. "I think I'll get some water."

After Madge left the room, Delly looked straight to Katniss. Their eyes locked and they held each others' gazes for a few beats. And suddenly, Delly stood up from her perch on the couch and made her way to Katniss' side, flopping down beside the girl just as she'd done not too long before.

"You know," Delly began, "I didn't mean to hurt you or anything."

Katniss shook her head. "You didn't. It's just that this is all so confusing and it scares me a little. I obviously feel something for him, you know? I wouldn't have dreamt of marrying him or doing all I did with him if I didn't… you know…"

"Love him?"

Katniss nodded.

Delly let out a long, tired sigh. "But what if it was just a childhood crush?"

"What?"

"You know, what if your feelings aren't the same as before now?" Delly reiterated, biting her lip.

Katniss looked down at her hands and thought about how Peeta looked, how she felt when she was with him, the fact that she was going to tell him everything in less than 24 hours. The butterflies she felt in her stomach were rabidly energized, causing fluttering that almost made her nauseous.

"I don't know," Katniss said. "It still feels so real."

She turned her face to look at the blonde haired girl and automatically felt concerned. Delly looked so sad- almost heartbroken- and Katniss didn't know what to do.

"Hey," Katniss began softly bringing her hand up to the girl's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Delly shook her head and covered her face with her hands. She took a couple of shaky breaths before looking back at the gray eyed girl, a look of determination glinting in her eyes. "I can help."

"Help? Help what?"

"Make it not real."

Katniss blinked. "Why would I want that?"

"Because things could be different!" Delly scooted closer to her, resting her forehead against Katniss'. "Things _are _different."

When Delly pressed her forehead to hers, Katniss did her best to keep herself from flinching. She felt so confused over what Delly was talking about. Why would Delly be so against Katniss being with Peeta? Her heart sunk.

"Delly," she began slowly, tongue heavy in her mouth, "do you… want Peeta?"

Delly leaned back in obvious surprise, her eyes widening and expression portraying strong disbelief. "What? No! I don't want _him_!"

Katniss sat up, hands gesturing wildly. "Then why would you want to keep me from him?"

There was a moment of silence before Delly sighed and sat up as well. She placed herself right in front of Katniss and looked deep into her eyes. "What if I want to have you instead?"

Katniss sputtered. "What?"

Delly huffed, clearly annoyed. "What I mean is that I don't like Peeta. He's my friend. And now, he's my rival."

Katniss leaned towards Delly, confusion etched into her face. "Your _rival_? What are you two fighting for? I don't understand!"

All of a sudden, Delly's hands flew up to either side of Katniss' face, securing the dark haired girl in place. And quickly, after a moment of hesitation, Delly leaned in and placed her lips onto Katniss'. It was a soft, awkward kiss that only lasted a second, yet Katniss still felt her head spin and body freeze with surprise and disbelief.

Delly slowly dropped her hands. "Peeta's my best friend. But he's also my rival."

It was then that Katniss understood.

_Real or not real_

It was as if Madge were listening in to the conversation, because after that, she made her entrance into the living room and plopped back down on her set of blankets and pillows. Katniss had to admire her for trying her best to keep up conversation, make things less awkward and keep the festivities going. She knew if Madge weren't there, the night would have gone a lot worse after that incident.

However, the girls were able to settle down and settle into a comfortable rhythm of watching movies, snacking on food and playing games (sometimes even Real or Not Real). Katniss told them who knew her story and said that if they wanted to talk about it with someone, they could with those who have heard the whole thing. The two blondes nodded in understanding and promised they wouldn't let anyone outside of the listed people know.

Katniss was glad that Delly wasn't acting awkward or hostile towards her. She liked having the girl as her friend, enjoyed her company. Although it was awkward to know that she had feelings for her, she didn't want to lose a friend because of it. She knew how it felt. She'd gone through such heartbreak when she'd lost Gale after the Revolution. So she was glad that she was given the opportunity to stay friends with the very social girl.

Katniss couldn't remember when they all fell asleep, but when she woke up in the morning, her parents were already in the kitchen cooking breakfast. The conversation over the meal was easy and fun and Katniss finally felt like she was a part of this world she was taken from for so long. Madge was the first of them to leave since her father needed her at home to help out. This left Katniss and Delly alone since they had their conversation the night before. Katniss knew that should should talk to her before she left; it was the best thing to do. Talking things out would keep their friendship from crumbling, and she knew that she wanted to prevent a fallout as much as she could. So, with her parents and Prim cleaning up the dining room, Katniss led Delly out to the front porch where they sat on the bench along the wall.

Katniss was the one to break the silence. "I'm sorry. I should have noticed."

Delly shook her head. "No, I knew how you felt. I shouldn't have been so selfish."

"I'm glad you told me."

"I just… knew I had to. I couldn't just give up."

Katniss turned her head to grin sheepishly at Delly. "I get the feeling."

Delly laughed. "So today's the big day, right? You're gonna tell Peeta everything."

Katniss bit her lip, looking down at her lap. "Yeah. I am."

The two sat silently, watching the seldom car passing through the street. Katniss looked at Delly again. "I hope we can still be friends."

The blond haired girl whipped her head towards her. "Of course! Why wouldn't we?"

"I just don't want things to be messed up because of this."

Delly's eyes lit up in understanding. "Gale. In your dream."

"Yeah."

Delly placed her hand atop Katniss', catching the other girl's eyes with her own. "I couldn't just leave you. At least I know I have you forever if we're friends."

Katniss grinned and Delly mirrored her expression. "Thank you."

Delly nodded. Just then, Delly's mother pulled into the driveway. "Good luck today."

_Real or not neal_

Katniss let Prim pick her outfit for meeting Peeta. She was so nervous she felt like she couldn't think straight. Having her sister there to comfort and help her was something that Katniss was extremely grateful for; having Prim by her side when she needed her was a gift that she could barely live without when her dream Prim died. She enjoyed the feeling of Prim brushing her hair and twisting the strands into a french braid that fell over her shoulder. She loved the confidence she gained as the two of them talked, the reassuring gestures and words spoken giving Katniss hope so strong that she thought Peeta just may feel the same for her as she did for him. Prim grounded her and supported her. She was so happy she had her sister to rely on. Things were so much better with Prim around than when she wasn't.

When Prim announced her as finished, Katniss looked at herself in the mirror. She looked… nice. Casual and cute. A white tank top tucked into a flowy skirt, flats and a jean jacket. Perfect for a picnic out in the meadow. Sending a grateful smile to her sister, she stood and collected the picnic blanket they'd be using from the closet and went downstairs to see a picnic basket sitting on the kitchen counter.

"It's for your date," Katniss's mother said, wiping her hands on a towel.

Katniss blushed. "It's not a date."

Failing to hide her smile, Mrs. Everdeen placed the towel beside the sink and placed her hand on Katniss' shoulder. "Don't be nervous. I'm sure everything between the two of you will be fine."

It felt odd for her mother to act this way towards her. She was so used to taking care of her instead of the other way around that it made her feel slightly uncomfortable and confused on how to act. She felt bad for thinking of her mother that way- especially since the events that happened in her dream never actually happened- so she fought to rebuild her relationship with her mother and recreate the trust she'd had in her before she was stuck in the world inside her head.

"But what if he thinks I'm… creepy?" Katniss asked, her eyebrows scrunching together.

"He's a sweet boy. He'll understand." Mrs. Everdeen swept some of Katniss' loose hairs behind her ear and dropped a kiss onto her forehead. She smiled. "Just have fun."

Katniss gave her a soft smile. "I'll try."

Picking up the basket, Katniss placed the blanket beneath the handle so she could hold both items with one hand. She made her way into the living room to see her dad sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels. He turned around a gave her a smile as if telling her good luck. Katniss smiled back and made her way towards the door.

After slipping on her shoes, she stood staring at the closed door. The nerves were making her jittery and she felt as the if the butterflies were taking over her body. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves, opened the door, and began her trek to the meadow.

_Real or not real_

She'd been lying in the middle of the meadow for a few minutes before she heard the sound of feet running towards her through the grass. She'd set up the blanket and found herself relaxing beneath the rays of the sun, wondering what it would be like if Peeta were actually hers. She felt warm and content, thankful to forget the anxiety she had when she thought about her plans to tell Peeta everything. However, hearing him running towards her, her heart began to hammer once more and she opened her eyes to watch him make his way to her.

He looked like he just finished a shower, the droplets of water in his hair making his blond locks shine more than normal. His outfit looked carefully picked out, kind of like how hers was. She was glad that she let Prim pick out her outfit. She wouldn't have been able to look so good without her.

She sat up, positioning herself so that the skirt didn't ride up too far up her thighs. Yet she still caught Peeta's eyes dart to her legs before quickly looking back to her with a bashful grin. She smiled. "Hi."

Peeta sat down beside her, slipping off his shoes and placing them beside her flats that were sitting beside the blanket. "Hey."

Katniss looked down. "I brought food. If you're hungry…"

"Of course! It sounds great."

In silence, they pulled food out of the picnic basket, along with plates and forks. Katniss piled food onto both of their plates and gave Peeta a smile. "I hope you like it."

He grinned. "I'm sure I will."

They dug in and Katniss couldn't keep herself from watching Peeta devour his food. He must've worked really hard or skipped breakfast because she'd never seen him eat like this. When he looked up to see her watching him, he blushed. "I didn't have much to eat for breakfast. And it was really busy in the bakery today."

Katniss smiled. "There's no need to be embarrassed. Eat as much as you like."

He smiled at her gratefully and began eating once more, this time slower than before.

"How was your sleep over?" He asked her.

Katniss felt her cheeks turn red. "It was… good."

Peeta raised an eyebrow at her. "What happened?"

"Nothing!"

"Did Delly say something about me? I swear, if she did-"

"No!" She cut him off. "She didn't say anything about _you_."

He stared at her in silence, digesting what she'd just said. "Nothing about me… So something about her?"

Katniss looked away as she felt her cheeks grow hotter. "Uh…"

Peeta's eyes grew wide. "She didn't… did she tell you?"

She gulped. "Tell me what?"

"That she… likes you?"

Katniss brought her hands to her face, trying to hide her embarrassment.

Peeta leaned his head back, letting out a groan of disappointment. "I can't believe she did that!"

Suddenly, a thought came to Katniss' head. She looked up at Peeta and asked, "have I ever been kissed before?"

"She kissed you?"

"No! I mean, yes, but it didn't mean anything!"

"How could it not-"

"I told her I don't like her that way."

"Oh." He's silent for a moment before he lets his concern show once more. "Are you two okay?"

Katniss smiled. "Yeah, We talked it out and she understands. She's a great person, great friend."

Peeta looked down to his food and smiled. "Yeah, she is."

When they finished, they put the food away and placed the basket off to the side of the blanket. They laid down, looking up at the sky as they basked in each other's presence.

"So," Peeta began, breaking the comfortable silence between them, "what do you mean about me being different than me?"

Katniss laughed. "It's a long story… kind of weird. I'm just afraid that it will scare you away. I don't think I could stand losing you again."

Peeta rolled onto his side to look at Katniss, bending his arm beneath his head to support it. "Lose me?"

Katniss blushed and trained her eyes up to the sky, embarrassed about what she revealed. However, she felt fingers brush beneath her chin and she tilted her head to the side, locking eyes with Peeta.

His smile was warm and breathtaking. "You could never lose me."

For a moment, all they did was look into each other's eyes. The butterflies she felt in her stomach only got stronger with his statement and she felt like she couldn't breath. With such words, she knew she had a chance at being with him again, at feeling his love again, and she desperately wanted his love. She felt like she would go crazy without it.

She bit her lip, hesitating to tell him everything. She could just not tell him the truth, hide from him that she creepily dreamt of becoming his wife and having his children. She could keep those things from him and they could live together happily. But she knew she couldn't lie. The act would forever be on her conscience and she would always feel guilty for not telling him what she had dreamt, about how deeply in love with him she is and all because of a silly dream she had when she was in a coma. She didn't want to lose him. But he said she wouldn't!

Katniss took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. Still holding his eyes with her own, she opened her mouth and began to speak.

**~Chapter 6 End~**


	7. Chapter 7

**What's Real**

**~Chapter 7~**

At some point during the story, the pair turned onto their sides to face each other, their bodies so close that Katniss could feel the heat radiating off of Peeta. She wanted so much to feel him hold her, get closer to him and wrap herself in his arms, but she knew that she probably shouldn't. Not while she was telling him this story. He stayed silent as she spoke grasped her hand in his when she hesitated on telling him about how he'd saved her before the games and how she'd kept noticing him after that. And he never let go.

Her hands got sweaty with nerves as the story progressed and she felt that she would lose him if she said anything odd about her thoughts on him- her feelings for him- but he kept her eyes locked on his, and this encouraged her to speak the whole truth, to show him just what happened to her.

She thought it must be scary for him to listen to what she was saying. No normal person would have to deal with a delusional girl who was confessing her undying love to him through a story of a life that she created inside of her head. But he hid his apprehension well, seeing as he didn't look the slightest bit concerned over the parts about their 'love story.' Towards the end of her tale, he looked to be split between smiling warmly and watching her with despair in his eyes. She'd stuttered over the fact that they'd had two children and grew redder than she ever thought possible when he'd asked her what their children's names were. And when her story was finished, she didn't know what else to say to the boy who was watching her so intently.

Slowly, Peeta untangled his fingers from hers and lifted his hand to brush her fly-away strands of hair behind her ear. She sighed as his fingers brushed across her cheek, down her jaw and finally settled his fingers beneath her chin, using his thumb to brush the skin of her bottom lip. The breath caught in her chest.

"That must've been difficult to go through," he finally said, his voice barely louder than a whisper. "And waking up after going through all of that must've been just as terrifying."

Katniss felt her bottom lip tremble beneath Peeta's thumb as her eyes began to water. "It wasn't fair! After all that we'd gone through, after all the hoops we jumped through to be together, it was all for nothing. Because you weren't there and you didn't even know me-"

"But I did know you. We've shared classes since we started school in Kindergarten. I'd say we were pretty good friends."

Katniss blinked, mulling over the new information. "We knew each other?"

Peeta nodded.

"So, you do sleep with the window open?"

"Yes."

"You're an artist? Don't take anything in your tea?"

"Both correct."

"Double-knot your shoelaces?"

He looked over to his shoes. "Check."

She bit her lip. "Favorite color is orange?"

He grinned widely. "I would've thought you'd ask that first."

Katniss blushed bright red as Peeta's hand trailed down her arm and back into the grasp of her own. She squeezed his hand as he smiled back at her.

"I'm so glad I haven't scared you away," she breathed.

"You could never do that, Katniss."

They stared at each other. The sun sunk lower, and when it was halfway below the horizon, Peeta spoke up once more. "We should get you home."

Katniss' heart fell. For some reason, she was hoping that he would want to be with her after she told the story. She'd hoped that he was just hiding his feelings for her, confused on whether or not he had a chance.

"Okay," she whispered.

After a moment, she grabbed the remnants of their picnic and placed them all in the basket. With Peeta's help, they were walking back to her home in no time, the silence between them slightly tense. Katniss felt like she'd ruined the atmosphere they were able to build between themselves. And really, the fact that she was so disappointed could only be blamed on herself. She shouldn't have expected anything different to occur between the two of them. She shouldn't have hoped for a kiss or a confession of his deepest feelings for her. It was just a story that she made up, a romance that she herself longed for over the years. It had nothing to do with his _actual_ feelings. Nothing would change if he didn't feel the same for her.

However, as they walked, she noticed that he was a bit too quiet. Usually, their silences would only last a few minutes, some conversation weaving its way between silences here and there. However, they were about halfway to Katniss' house and he still hadn't said anything. He was obviously thinking about something- about what she said. Maybe he really was freaked out about her dream.

By the time the pair reached her front door, Katniss was in full panic. She couldn't stop the barely noticeable shake in her hands and her fingers toyed with her brained uncontrollably. All she wanted was the disappear inside her room and wallow in her misery. She wouldn't be able to show her face in front of Peeta for a couple of days without getting flustered. She wondered if he would notice if she ignored him.

Peeta cleared his throat and Katniss turned to face him. They were standing in front of her door, Katniss' hand frozen in place hovering above the doorknob. He looked nervous, his cheeks heated red. His mouth opened and closed, not a sound coming out. She grew concerned as this action carried on a few more times. Peeta always knew what to say, so why was he struggling so much?

He cleared his throat again and bit his bottom lip as Katniss' hand fell back to her side. Her body turned fully towards him and she cocked her head to the side as if asking silently what was on his mind.

His hands reached forward and grasped her own, pulling her closer to his body until she could feel the heat emanating from him. His voice was raspy when he spoke, "you said that in your dream, you loved me?"

Her eyes widened at his question. With a tight voice, she answered, "real."

He took a deep breath and nodded, his eyes never leaving hers. "And your feelings now…?"

Katniss' cheeks grew dark and her eyes darted down to their feet. "They're the same as then."

Peeta let go of one of her hands and used his free fingers to gently nudge her chin up so that she was looking into his eyes. "Good. Because they're real for me."

And along with those words that made her heart flutter came a kiss.

_Real or not real_

The rest of her night passed in a daze. She barely listened to anything her parents said and Prim was trying to tease her about her time with Peeta. She barely registered a thing they said, sighing quiet, one worded responses to their questions. And she could see the way her family was grinning at her- as if they knew something that she hadn't told them about- but she didn't feel the need to ask them why they were acting that way. She was comfortable with her thoughts and the lingering feeling of Peeta's lips on hers.

As she was laying in her bed to sleep, Prim quietly made her way into Katniss' room after switching on the light, bouncing onto the older girl's bed with a large grin on her face.

"So how was it like?" Prim asked, eyes glowing with curiosity.

Katniss folded her arms behind her head and raised an eyebrow at her younger sister. "What do you mean?"

She giggled. "The kiss!"

Katniss' eyes widened as she sat up onto her elbows. "You saw it?"

Prim's cheeks flushed red. "We all did. We were going to open the door to let you both in, but…"

Katniss groaned and fell back onto her pillow. She buried her face into her pillow as she felt her face heat up. "Why did you keep watching?"

"It was so romantic!" Prim sighed. "It's like your dream of being with him is turning into a reality!"

"Prim, go away."

"But you need to tell me how you know him! I didn't know you two were so close! I want to know why you never told me of your crush on him."

Katniss sat up and turned to her younger sister, resting her back against the headboard. "Maybe I didn't know about my crush until I was in the coma."

"Or," Prim grinned, "you were just denying it until you couldn't."

Katniss rolled her eyes.

"So tell me," Prim giggled, "how did it feel? Is he a good kisser?"

"Prim!" Katniss' face burned hotter than she'd ever felt.

Prim laughed and jumped up from the bed. "Think about it and tell me tomorrow on our way to school!"

And with a final laugh, Prim was out of her door and the light was switched off once more.

Katniss sighed as she flopped onto her back and pulled up her blankets to beneath her chin. He thoughts wandered back to the time she'd spent with Peeta that afternoon, to the kiss they shared just before he left. His lips were soft against her own. He was warm and smelt of cinnamon, dill, himself. She wanted to kiss him again and again. It was even better than kissing him in her dream. Her heart thundered at the thought of his lips on her own, his arms wrapped around her body. She sighed as she closed her eyes and willed herself to fall asleep to the thoughts of Peeta and his perfect kisses.

_Real or not real_

When she made it to school the next day, Peeta was waiting for her by her locker. His cheeks were flushed and Katniss could feel the color marking her own as well. She smiled at him shyly as she unlocked her locker and began replacing the books in her bag with those she would need for the next few classes. As soon as she closed the door, Peeta gently took her hand and walked with her to their first class.

He stood beside her when she sat at her desk, biting his lip whilst shuffling nervously on his feet. He looked as if he wanted to say something and Katniss felt like she knew what he wanted to talk about. However, just as he got the nerve to open his mouth, the bell rang and students began to fill the empty seats of the classroom.

Peeta sighed, his brows furrowing into a scowl. Katniss couldn't repress her smile at the sight; he looked so odd with any expression that even slightly implied negative emotions. She reached out to one of his clenched hands and squeezed it gently in hers. "We'll talk during lunch?"

Peeta looked up at her with gratitude laced in his features. He nodded and awkwardly shuffled to his seat. As he sat, the final bell rang and Wiress began their math lesson a few moments later.

_Real or not real_

Whenever classes switched, Peeta took it upon himself to walk her to class. They even sat together- sometimes in complete silence- when they shared the class and there was no need for Peeta to rush away. Katniss wondered why he didn't just talk to her in class when they were doing group work, but she figured Peeta didn't want to take up her study time, something she desperately needed, since she had so much to catch up on from the past few years.

Peeta proved himself to be an amazing tutor, as he helped Katniss with what she didn't understand whenever she so much as paused to stare at her work. His patience with her slow progress impressed Katniss, and she could only be happy that he was turning out the way she always thought him to be.

And, once in a while, he would hold her hand, his fingers gently caressing hers as he moved himself closer to her. She felt her heart flutter every time held her hand, and although he never held it for more than a few minutes, she felt as if she were in heaven.

When lunch finally rolled around, they decided not to head to the cafeteria, opting to sit outside on one of the benches lining the back fields of the school. They sat right beside each other, practically no space in between them. For a few moments it was silent, the pair taking a few bites of their lunches before bringing up the topic that so needed to be talked about. It was Peeta who was able to bring up his courage first.

"I really liked kissing you."

He stared at her in horror, his face burning bright red while Katniss flushed and laughed awkwardly.

Peeta stuttered, "I mean- I didn't mean to-! Well, I did like kissing you, but I didn't mean to say that!"

Katniss bit her lip, the corners of her lips rising into a smile. She placed her hand onto his and murmured, "calm down and try again."

Peeta wove his fingers between hers. "I meant to say that I really like you."

Katniss looked down at her lap and smiled. She took a deep breath and looked up at him from beneath her lashes before she responded, "and I like you."

They smiled at one another, sitting in silence as they enjoyed the feel of the others' hand in their own. This time, it was Katniss who spoke first: "I have a question."

Peeta blinked. "What is it?"

Katniss bit down on her lip. "Well, I know that I'm not exactly the easiest person to be around… Especially since I'm still trying to figure things out here. But, I know how I feel about you; I've known since I lost you the first time."

She looked up at him, trying her best to keep eye contact with him. Peeta looked dumbstruck, his cheeks still pink from his admission earlier. However, she could see something warm and hopeful in his eyes and she felt that was a good enough indicator that she should go on.

"I just," she stuttered, looking down at her knees and kicking her feet, "I want to be with you. And I want to know if you… want to be with me?"

It was silent for a beat before Peeta's incredulous voice was heard. "You mean as a couple?"

She whispered, "yes."

She didn't know how long the silence went on, but she felt her heart break with every beat it took without his reply. Eventually, she became so overwhelmed with her fright that tears began to well in her eyes.

"Hey," Peeta crooned, raising a hand and rubbing his thumb beneath her eye, "don't cry. I'm just overwhelmed. I never thought that _the_ Katniss Everdeen would be asking _me _out. I never thought I'd have a chance with you."

She looked into his eyes and blinked. "What?"

Peeta's cheeks flushed slightly and he rubbed the back of his neck with the hand he'd used to rub her cheek. "I've always wanted to ask you out, but I never had the courage. Before your accident, we'd barely known each other."

Katniss clasped her hands together in her lap. "But we did know each other."

Peeta smiled. "Yeah." He looked down at his lap as he spoke. "Right before your accident, we were partners in a school project. It was the first time that I actually talked to you. We got along pretty well and I thought that I had a chance if I could get the courage to talk to you. But I guess I waited too long…"

Katniss grasped his hand and he looked at her with hopeful eyes. "No," she said, "you're just in time."

_Real or not real_

The two held hands the entire way to Katniss' next class. Katniss tried her best to ignore the stares- she'd never be used to the way people would watch her when she walked through the halls- and she pretended she couldn't see the angry glare that Glimmer sent her way as she passed her and her group of friends. Peeta squeezed her hand and gave her a reassuring smile, and Katniss was able to return the girl's glare with a hard look as they continued towards the music room. When the two got there, Delly was waiting outside for them, looking at the pair with a look of melancholy.

"So I guess you did it," Delly said as they stopped in front of her. "You got the girl."

Peeta's answering grin was bittersweet, "you knew how I feel about her, Dells."

Delly shrugged. "I know." She flung her arm around Katniss' shoulder and pulled the girl away from him, "But we'll still be best friends! Right Kat?"

Katniss bit her lip as she glanced back at Peeta. Things couldn't have gone any better.

_Real or not real_

To say that class was easy would be a lie; especially since Glimmer was trying her best to make Katniss' life a living hell. She didn't understand why the girl had to make things so personal. These were feelings that couldn't be denied any longer. Katniss and Peeta were supposed to be together, especially if their feelings outlasted a five year long coma and a world Katniss was stuck in within her head. She'd been waiting to be with Peeta for months after she woke up in a hospital bed with people telling her her husband didn't know who she was. And she finally had him. She wasn't about to let him go.

When the bell rang, she ran out of the room, waving to Delly and calling out her good-byes to the girl. She beat Peeta to the door of his classroom and pulled him into a chaste kiss before dragging him down the hall towards the entrance to the school. She waited with him impatiently for his brother before telling them to hurry up towards the middle school so they could pick up Prim. And when they got there, Katniss ran straight to Prim and squeezed her in a hug.

"I have so much to tell you, Little Duck!" Katniss breathed, smiling brightly at her younger sister.

The girl scrunched up her nose. "Ew, don't call me that! That was for when I was a kid!"

Katniss grinned. "Not a chance."

Katniss and Prim walked ahead of the two boys, discussing everything that happened since she woke up from her coma. They talked about the nightmares she sometimes still had, the euphoria she felt now that she was with Peeta, how overwhelmed with the world she felt when she was relearning her life in those first few months of wakefulness.

"Honestly, sometimes I wished I were still asleep, in my own little world," Katniss admitted, squeezing Prim's hand in hers. "I wanted to be with my Peeta so badly. I missed him. I couldn't sleep without him, live without him… I barely survived that first week without him."

Prim gave her a strained smile. "I'm glad you did."

Katniss looked back to see the boys laughing behind them. Peeta caught her eye and sent her a wonderfully beautiful smile. Katniss grinned. "Me too. It's like another chance. To do it all right."

Prim bit her lip. "But what if it doesn't work out in the end?"

Katniss looked to her feet and smiled warmly. "I know it will. I won't let us fall apart. I couldn't. Not again."

**~Chapter 7 End~**

Next chapter will be the epilogue. I believe I've done all I wanted with this fic and it definitely took much longer than I thought to get it finished. Sorry for the long hiatus in the middle; life got to me and I should have at least given all my readers a heads up. The epilogue will be up next month, so keep an eye out for it.


	8. Epilogue

There are time skips after every _"Real or not real" _this chapter. I hope it isn't too confusing!

**What's Real**

**~Epilogue~**

She'd grown since she'd woken up from her coma, and in more ways that one. She'd strengthened her friendships with Finnick, Annie, Johanna, Madge. She took care to talk to those who were with her since day one of school, like Madge and Rye and Gale and Thom. She rebonded with her mother and shared her happiness with her sister and father. She'd become more open hearted, less closed off. No longer did she need to act with caution and a closed heart; this wasn't the Panem of the dictator President Snow. She could be free and happy. She could love without fear.

Of course, she knew that bad things could happen. Something did happen to her, after all. But there were worse things to go through- worse games to play- and Katniss felt as if she should make her life worth the pain and suffering she went through within her head for five years.

She had so much to live for, so many friends. Her world was so much better than she could have hoped for, what with her loved ones surrounding her and supporting her through her therapy and nightmares. And with Peeta by her side, she couldn't have been any happier. Her 'Boy With the Bread' was her most important person. She couldn't live life without him, couldn't survive. She was happy she didn't really lose him when she woke up. She just needed to win him over. And it wasn't even a challenge; he was already hers from the beginning.

Of course they'd have their fights. Of course Katniss would have her days of frustration or depression or mornings when she didn't know where she was. But having him by her side through it all made it all so much easier. And as she grew with him, she couldn't wait to get back to the point where she'd left off in her head with the family she'd made with Peeta.

_Real or not real_

"Katniss, wake up," Peeta's voice was soothing yet slightly panicked.

Her eyes snapped open and she struggled to control her heavy breathing. She hadn't had a nightmare like that in almost a month. Luckily, she was with Peeta when it occurred.

A couple years back, Katniss was able to graduate high school with her peers. And it was all thanks to the non-stop tutoring Peeta, Delly and Madge gave to her when the Principal pulled her into the office to discuss her graduation path. Katniss had been faced with the possibility of being held back a year if she couldn't get her grades up (she wasn't the best student) and school was proving difficult due to the fact that she'd lost years of studying. Thus, she'd poured her heart and soul into her studies, going to the free tutoring center in town, going to extra classes at the community college, even giving up her first summer vacation back to catch up on the classes she'd missed. Her friends were by her side the whole time, so her victory at graduating with her class was celebrated as if it were all of theirs as well.

However, despite her scholastic comeback, Katniss didn't have it in her to go to college. The rush of getting into a good college or university overwhelmed her. She just didn't have the time to fill out the applications while she was already taking extra classes and spending time with tutors. She didn't even know if she wanted to attend! So much had happened to her already, she couldn't even convince herself to want to go away to college when she just got back to her life with her family. When she discussed the dilemma with her parents, they supported her with the decision to take a couple years off to think about whether or not she wanted to go to college or not.

After a couple of years, Peeta became a sophomore in college and Katniss got a job as an archery instructor at the local athletics center. He'd gone to a university a couple hours away from their small town, so they were apart much more often than Katniss felt comfortable with, but they compromised with nightly video calls and texts sent sporadically throughout the day. And, of course, they'd visit one another (although Katniss did most of the visiting).

She sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Peeta looked at her, concern etched in his features. "Don't be."

She blinked slowly and tried to settle her mind. "I was having a nightmare."

Peeta smiled ruefully. "I know."

He scooted closer to her on the bed and encompassed her in his arms. She fell into his embrace easily, breathing in his scent as she calmed her racing heartbeat. They sat in silence for a while until her nightmare was practically forgotten.

"Were you heading to class?" Katniss asked, pulling back slightly to look into Peeta's eyes.

He smiled down at her softly. "Yeah. But I can stay if you want."

She shook her head and untangled their limbs. "No, don't miss class because of me. I'll be fine."

He furrowed his brow. Pursing his lips, he replied, "okay. I'll be back in a couple hours."

Katniss smiled and nodded. She watched him with a dazed look on her face as he gathered his books into his backpack to take to class. And when he left the room after planting a lingering kiss on her lips, she got out of his bed and stretched her arms over her head.

As she went through her morning routine, Katniss thought back on the nightmare she had: the mutts from her first games. It baffled her that she still dreamt of that time, seeing as she'd left that horrible world almost 4 years prior. Then again, the trauma she'd gone through upon falling into and waking from the coma was horrific and no one could blame her for still experiencing the residual side effects that she had. However, her life was turning out better than she could have ever hoped for and she felt that she got better as each day passed.

Katniss left Peeta's dorm as she waited for his classes to be over. She walked around the campus, waving 'hello' to those she recognized from her hometown and those who were introduced to her as she spent more of her time with Peeta. She made her way to a drink vendor who set up shop in a food cart near the campus. She was happy to find out that the drink vendor was Haymitch Abernathy- her uncle who lived in the college town and owned a bar that was opened during the evenings for those who were seeking a bit more entertainment. He hadn't had the chance to visit her when she first woke up until she'd been a few months into her senior year. However, the reunion was just as she thought it would be: full of awkward hugs and even awkward ear conversations.

She sat on the stool that Haymitch started bringing along for her when she first showed up while she was waiting for Peeta's lecture to convene. She kept him quiet company and he let her help out when she wanted to. The arrangement allowed them both what they needed: company and something to do.

"Back so soon, Sweetheart?" Haymitch called gruffly as she approached the cart.

Katniss shrugged and sent him a grin as she stood right beside him. "I just can't stay away."

He barked out a laugh before he set her to work, a crowd of students making their way over after their lecture let out. "Well, you can't stay for free. Get to work."

_Real or not real_

Peeta picked her up from the cart after holding a short conversation with Haymitch. The two of them walked together back to his dorm silently, hand in hand. Katniss appreciated the comfortable air that ran between them. She was always the most comfortable when he was right beside her.

As they made their way up the stairs, she decided to speak. "Hey, Peeta?"

He looked at her with a questioning smile as he dug in his pocket for his keys.

"I think I want to start taking some online classes. Environmental sciences."

His eyes lit up and he pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. "Really? That's great!"

She felt his scruff against her cheek as he held her close. Unable to contain her smile, she replied, "just a couple classes. I feel like it would be good to start doing more for my future."

He pulled away, his smile never leaving his face. "Have you figured out which school you want to attend?"

She bit her lip and shook her head. "I was hoping that you would help me out with that…"

He opened up his door and placed his hand on her lower back as the two of them entered his dorm. "Of course."

She sat on his bed and watched as he placed his bag beside his desk and remove his textbooks from it. She waited impatiently until he flopped onto the bed beside her. And when he did, she wrapped herself around him and sighed deeply as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I feel like things are looking up," Katniss whispered, closing her eyes and burying her face into his neck.

He placed a kiss on her temple and held her closer. "I felt that when I heard you woke up from your coma."

She shifted her body so she could look into his eyes. "Really?"

He nodded, tightening his grip around her waist. "When you woke up, I knew I couldn't just let you slip away. All through elementary school, I was too scared to approach you. I couldn't do that again knowing that you could be taken from me at any moment."

She leaned in a pressed a soft kiss to his lips, feeling content with the place she was at in her life.

_Real or not real_

"Where are the kids?"

"Delly and her girlfriend offered to babysit for us tonight."

Katniss grinned, stepping behind Peeta and wrapping her arms around his waist as he cooked at the stove. "So it's just us?"

Peeta turned his head around to draw her lips into a light kiss that left her breathless. "Just us."

Katniss bit her lip, trying to contain her smile as she moved around to put away her purse and coat. "We haven't had 'us-time' in a while. Remind me to thank them."

He placed the food onto plates as he finished up cooking the meal. "Don't worry, I sent some cheese buns home with them. As a thank you."

She playfully gasped and shook her head in disappointment. "You know those are only for me!"

Peeta laughed as they both sat down on the couch, plates in their laps. "Don't worry, I made a batch just for you."

Grinning, Katniss dug into the food, humming as the taste settled on her tongue. She noticed Peeta had yet to touch his plate and placed her attention onto him. She noticed his eyes were a slightly darker shade, portraying his desire for her. And when he pulled her into a passionate kiss, their food was forgotten.

_Real or not real_

She watched them play in the meadow, chasing their father as they played a game of tag. Katniss would never get used to the overwhelming love she felt when she saw her family this way. She felt so complete, so whole when they were with her. The love she had for her family was unlike anything she'd ever felt. She was so happy that things were back to the way they were supposed to be.

Peeta jogged to where she was standing as the two little ones began playing together, exploring the grasses and trees with child-like wonder. Sweat dripped lightly down his forehead and a cheek-splitting grin was etched into his face. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her sweetly as he greeted her.

They turned to the children and watched in silence as the young boy played with his younger sister. The warmth in her heart grew as she watched her boy carefully hand the girl a small dandelion. She couldn't keep the smile off of her lips.

She sighed as she burrowed deeper into Peeta's arms, lightly wrapping her hands around his forearms. She remembered the feeling of bliss she'd had while in her coma when Peeta'd asked her if she loved him and she was able to confess her true feelings to him at last. The feeling she had while watching her children was very like that feeling. But this time, the circumstances were real. So real. And she wouldn't have it any other way.

_**End**_

This story isn't as long as I'd originally intended it to be, but hopefully you readers like it despite that. I once again apologize for the long hiatus and the spaced out updates, but with my schedule, it's the best I can do.

In a few months, I'll be posting a new story. I've yet to make a name for it, but I have the main plot down and I can tell you that it's a love story between a mermaid and a baker. Keep an eye out for my name if you're interested! And until then, happy reading.

-PaintingReality


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